


Who’re Ya’ Running From?

by galaxiebot



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Autistic Satya "Symmetra" Vaswani, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gang Violence, Horseback Riding, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Modern AU, PTSD, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2018-11-16 09:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxiebot/pseuds/galaxiebot
Summary: McCree is running from Gabe’s death and finds himself in New York City, bartending at a cowboy-themed bar where he befriends Hanzo at the suggestion of his co-workers. When Sombra, McCree’s adopted younger sister starts to pester him about being all alone out in New York, McCree agrees to visit home and asks Hanzo along to prove that he’s making friends in New York only to discover they’re more alike and connected to each other than either ever thought.This is the McHanzo AU I’ve been working on for a few months now! I’m really enjoying writing the story, and I hope you all like it just as much! Also, happy McHanzo Week 2017! Here’s the start of my fic as a part of Day 2: Canon Divergence || AU day!





	1. Chapter 1

The first time that McCree actually managed to talk to Hanzo beyond taking his order was a dare. He sauntered over to Hanzo who was glaring at his computer which he’d daintily place on the bar when he’d perch on one of the tall stools earlier in the afternoon. There was no reason for a man of such pride to be sitting in a cowboy themed bar on a wednesday and now McCree was about to antagonize him at the suggestion of one of McCree’s coworkers.

He set the shot near Hanzo’s hand, taking care to set it within reach, without getting it too close to his laptop. McCree had been chastised before, but otherwise Hanzo was perfectly agreeable, and always left a good tip, so there was no real reason for anyone to dislike him, but he was a bit quiet and could look intimidating. Hence why Lúcio had convinced McCree to try to talk to him, as if Hanzo might bite.

“I did not-” 

“Everythin’ okay?” McCree cut him off, “You look like the laptop dishonored your family.” McCree wasn’t really sure how Hanzo would take it, but the man took himself so seriously, there had to be something that would make him laugh. Hanzo stared at him for a moment, and then McCree caught a flicker of the processing expression before Hanzo looked down at the shot to pick it up.

“I am trying to write a,” Hanzo paused, seeming to mince words in his head a moment, “difficult, e-mail.” He downed the shot and sighed, “It has been a rather difficult week in general.” McCree raised his eyebrows, he certainly wasn’t going to let this conversation drop just yet. He had to prove that Hanzo could talk after all.

“Difficult how?” McCree asked. Lúcio was staring wide eyed from the kitchen now, but only McCree could see him, luckily. McCree could bite, Hanzo seemed like he might be willing to tell him if he was asked. Plus, McCree relished the idea of being the first to actually find out what Hanzo did for a living. He’d had a pool going for the better part of two months with Lúcio and some of the servers about what kind of job Hanzo could have that allowed him the leisure of sitting in the bar a few times a week, sipping a drink while he e-mailed people.

“I am trying to inform my client that her taste in design is terrible.” Hanzo paused, narrowing his eyes and McCree stared. “Without sounding like a dick.”

McCree blinked and then found himself laughing, laughing hard, and Hanzo looked fairly satisfied with that for a moment. “Good luck,” he said, a chuckle still rolling through his voice, “you do design then?”

“Yes.” Hanzo looked like he was straining a bit to reconcile the English and Japanese that was in his head and coming out of his mouth. His accent was thick and sharpened the edges of every word that came, so much so that McCree couldn’t help the way he was thinking about how it was different from his own, which caused him to drop syllables and soften everything. “Freelance.”

McCree smiled, not just because he’d won the bet, but also because Hanzo seemed to actually be enjoying the talking, so McCree kept it up. “Do you do more digital, or traditional art?”

It was slow, Hanzo drank one more beer than usual as he spoke with McCree. Hanzo seemed to McCree like he might be a little lonely, not having perfect English and no one around to speak Japanese with. McCree didn’t mind though, the years it had taken McCree to learn English made it clear he had no place to judge anyone else trying to learn it. Plus, if McCree was entirely honestly with himself, which he often wasn’t, Hanzo was easy on the eyes. Shorter than McCree, but his tight button downs left him wondering just how muscular he was, his waist small and his shoulders broad. Hanzo’s eyes were nice too, sharp and dark with thick lashes. He had an undercut and short pony tail that McCree felt he had only to sell the freelance designer aesthetic.

By the time summer rolled around, Hanzo was a permanent fixture of the bar, glowering at his laptop while he sipped on whatever drink he was favoring that week. McCree and him would talk, Hanzo’s English clearly improving the more he used it, and it became clear that he was better at writing it than speaking it. They were fast friends, enjoying each other’s sarcasm and wit. It wasn’t long before they were silently, or rather loudly, sassing each other and creating inside jokes even the other employees couldn’t keep up with. McCree going out of his way to earn a smile, and Hanzo being his reserved self until he wanted to get a reaction out of McCree, it was nice.

–

“Sombra?” McCree was standing in front of Hanzo, and for the first time since Hanzo had known this bartender he looked paranoid. He was tall and bulky, and Hanzo had to admit he was attractive too, but he only ever let himself think about that for a brief moment. McCree was on the other side of the bar, the phone pressed to his ear as he glanced at the owner and turned towards the wall of liquor, getting down as if the person on the phone was asking him to check their stock. “How did you even get this number?” McCree hissed, and then he groaned, “Sombra, I keep tellin’ ya if you keep hacking things to get what you want, you’re going to end up on another watch list.”

Hanzo tuned out of the conversation, feeling that it might be mildly personal, and focused on the e-mail he was reading, taking notes in a project sheet so he could keep track of the changes his client was asking for. McCree’s phone conversation was far too intriguing, and he was quickly distracted by the distressed noise his friend was making as his fingers danced over the bottles of bad tequila. “Okay, okay, I promise I’ll call you later and figure somethin’ out.”

Hanzo turned back to his computer as McCree hung up and sighed, a bottle of particularly cheap tequila in his hand. He snagged two shot glasses and poured tequila into them, setting one in front of Hanzo who gave him a pointed look. “Pretend you bought me one,” he said and held his glass towards Hanzo as he looked down at the shot in McCree’s hand, “click the glasses together. Y’know, like after a toast.”

“I knew that.” Hanzo said, scooping up his glass. He had not known that, but McCree was too busy downing his shot to really say anything about it. McCree wiped his lips off on the back of his hand, the shot still burning in Hanzo’s throat, so he chased it with his beer. It was quiet for a moment and Hanzo looked up at the anxious expression on McCree’s face, “that must be quite the relationship you have.”

That earned him a bark of laughter, McCree’s anxiety seeming to melt a little bit. “I’d be in so much more trouble if Sombra were my girlfriend,” he said, “my baby sister’s just convinced I’m out here all alone, not makin’ any friends.”

“I can’t believe she would ever think you were anything but a shut in,” Hanzo said airily. McCree laughed again and poured another shot for the two of them. Hanzo knew already he’d probably end up paying for it all, but he didn’t mind. McCree was his friend, sort of, at least he wanted him to be. Hanzo wasn’t exactly a social butterfly, most people made him feel paranoid or uneasy because he knew if they ever found out more about him, they’d cut him out of their life.

McCree was easier. He was a bartender, they were always in public together. Their conversations couldn’t get too personal, and it was just the right amount of distance to keep McCree from finding out something he shouldn’t. Hanzo knew this type of friend was better for him and as McCree laughed at Hanzo’s joke, he got the small satisfaction of feeling like he had something he knew he couldn’t really have.

“I guess I never was one to pass up a social gathering. That ain’t for the company though, that’s for the free booze.” McCree paused a moment looking out the wide windows on the other side of the bar. “Problem is she thinks I’m out here for the wrong reasons. Hard to shake that from someone when they’re two thousand miles away.”

“I could see how that would be difficult.” Hanzo hummed and looked around briefly before taking the bottle off the bar and pouring McCree another shot of Tequila. McCree quirked a brow at him and smirked, quickly pouring Hanzo another shot as well before they both took it.

“Thanks partner,” McCree said. They downed the shots, and McCree set another beer down for him before he had to go deal with some people who’d just bellied up to the bar. Hanzo closed his laptop, figuring he might as well settle himself there for a little while. It was Thursday after all, and he didn’t have much to do beyond maybe keep company of a rather approachable bartender.

Once his laptop was tucked away, Hanzo managed to drink his beer much faster, his attention split between a soccer game on the TV and the rather enjoyable banter he and McCree had going whenever he got near enough for them to talk. Hanzo couldn’t help but think about the way McCree would light up when he got closer, the way he pushed up his hat and leaned into him over the bar to hear what Hanzo was saying. They’d been this level of friendly a long time, but Hanzo was just starting to catch how much attention McCree paid Hanzo, and how nice it was not to be alone.

“Still here?” McCree joked. He’d been in the back for a while now. Hanzo was still watching the soccer match, just tipsy enough to get engrossed in it. McCree set down two clean shot glasses after he’d restocked the middle shelf. Hanzo knew he shouldn’t, that didn’t mean he didn’t want it, but McCree tugged a bottle of sake from somewhere unseen.

“Why do you have that?” Hanzo asked as McCree poured.

“I don’t know, found it in the back, thought you might like it.” He poured the shot glasses and tucked the bottle away again. “What’re you still doin’ here anyway?”

Hanzo shrugged, sipping the sake and humming. It was a nice reminder of home, but he had more than too much to drink at this point, his face burning and his head fuzzy. “I was enjoying the game,” he lowered his voice and added, “and maybe the view.”

“What was that?” McCree had glanced up at the TV and sipped at his own glass of sake, promptly distracting himself. “Shit, how do you drink this stuff?”

“Warm usually.” Hanzo’s voice was airy and light. McCree made a face and poured the rest of his into Hanzo’s glass when Hanzo was done with his own, much to his dismay of course. He made a face when he finished the second, carefully trying to get off the stool and stumbling just enough for McCree to notice.

“Whoa there, you okay?” McCree was around the bar in a flash steadying Hanzo. Hanzo, who had too much pride to admit he was probably too drunk to make it home, righted himself and grunted softly, pulling away from McCree.

“I am fine.” He slipped his bag over his shoulder, and McCree had to grab him again when he stumbled.

“How many drinks did I give you?” McCree quickly started to count on one hand, realizing he’d obviously made a fundamental bartending mistake. “Uh, shit, I can’t let you go like this, let me, call you an Uber.”

Hanzo tried to shake his head, but McCree sat him down in a chair. It didn’t take long for Hanzo to be out cold there, his head on one of his arms. He really didn’t remember McCree coming to help him up, or that McCree followed him into the cab they got into. All he knew was that there was something comfortably warm holding onto him.

Waking up looking at a strange ceiling, in someone else’s bed, when he had no memory of what had really happened the night before was rather unnerving. He sat up with a bolt of fear, catching the flannel patterned sheets only to stop when the only clothing he was missing were his shoes. Hanzo looked around, a thick futon underneath him, directly on the ground. It was navy blue and smelled faintly of tobacco, and somehow that was what made it all click. This was McCree’s place. Hanzo very suddenly hoped he had not made a fool of himself, but at least he hadn’t woken up in jail as he always dreamed he would one day.

The wave of anxiety rolling it’s way down his body only hid the pounding headache and the nausea for so long. It only got worse when he stood up, finding his way around a wooden partition into a tiny studio apartment where McCree was piling eggs and bacon onto a plate. Hanzo had never been so thankful to see something greasy in his life.

“Mornin’ partner,” McCree was far too cheery for Hanzo right now, but he had food in his hands, setting it down at the small table that was against the back of the couch. There was even advil and water there already. “Figured you’d need that. Would you like coffee?”

“Thank you,” he said, “I am fine without coffee” Hanzo sat down, quickly taking the medicine in hopes of whatever relief he might get out of it. McCree just nodded, making himself a plate as Hanzo carefully started on his food, being sure to go for the toast first before he at anything more. “What exactly, happened last night?”

“I wasn’t paying any attention to just how many shots and beers you’d had, then fed you two glasses of sake without thinkin’ about it.” McCree took a bite of a piece of bacon, running a hand through his wild hair. He looked quite a bit different without the cowboy hat and flannel, now in a pair of loose joggers and a t-shirt, Hanzo could really see just how much effort McCree must put into keeping himself fit. Hanzo felt a bit, truth be told, homely in comparison, although his arms were still built nicely from upkeeping the kyudo training. “It was my fault really,” McCree continued, “shoulda made sure to cut you off when you needed it.”

“I could have stopped myself. I am responsible too, don’t worry.” Hanzo started in on his eggs, which had clearly been cooked in the bacon fat. It was something about America he’d come to love, the way that they ate breakfast. Although, it was too heavy for him normally, right now it was working wonders on the headache and the stomach pain. “Thank you for making sure I did not do something stupid. Or sleep outside.”

“Least I could do.” McCree smiled, and Hanzo tried to recede more, his eyes on his plate. “I think you might owe me one, though, you nearly knocked me down the stairs last night. You’re stronger than you look for such a little guy.”

Hanzo frowned, his head shooting up. “I have told you, I am not that short.”

“Y’know, I believed you when you were in the bar stool,” Mccree said, “but then I was standing next to ya’ and I realized you only came up to about here on me.” He gestured to the spot just underneath his nose and Hanzo glared as McCree laughed.

“What do I owe you?” Hanzo shook off McCree’s laughter easily, but that did not mean he was willing to forget about this. He’d get him back later.

“Well, it’s kind of a big thing, so half of this is you owin’ me, and half is gonna be you doing me a favor,” McCree said.

Hanzo narrowed his eyes. “And what is it that I’ll be doing?”

“Well, Sombra’s gonna’ wring me like a rag if I don’t make it back home for Día de Muertos and I’m hoping I might be able to kill two birds with one stone by bringing a friend back with me to prove that I’m doing fine out here in the big city.” McCree’s eyes were bright, almost hopeful, but Hanzo just stared at him, trying to even comprehend all that down to the way the Spanish words rolling off McCree’s tongue made Hanzo feel.

“And I am….” Hanzo paused. “Of all the people you could take.”

“You’re my best friend in the city.” McCree was so firm on this fact that Hanzo felt himself agreeing with it, then he caught it and drew back again, shaking his head.

“We have never spent time together outside of your workplace.” Hanzo furrowed his brow. Did McCree really consider Hanzo of all people a good friend? He could honestly not imagine anyone considering him to be a good friend. Although, Hanzo knew all his own secrets. McCree did not.

“That could change, we have two months.” McCree was still firm, “and besides, you keep makin’ all those jokes about needing a vacation. It’ll just be gettin’ cold here in New York when we’d be heading off to Santa Fe.”

Hanzo made a face, but McCree sat up a bit more, looking far too hopeful. On top of that, Hanzo was kind of caught in the idea of actually having a friend. He deserved a friend, even with someone with a past like his. McCree even seemed like the type that might let it go if Hanzo ever worked up to actually telling him.

“Fine.” Hanzo looked at McCree just in time to see him light up like the entire city of New York, his hands pressing flat on the table as he began to prattle out details that Hanzo wasn’t quite catching. He was too busy tamping down the flutter in his stomach, because that was something he did not need. Not right just then, at least.


	2. Chapter 2

McCree was standing just outside the bar, closed up for the night with his phone in his hand waiting and looking around for Hanzo. He was starting to think that he might have bailed or something as he pressed his back as close to the wall as he could. The rain was coming down hard, hitting his hat and bouncing all over his phone so that he’d have to wipe it off on his shirt every now and again.

“You are, still wearing the hat,” Hanzo said. It was enough to make McCree jump, and that was saying something because McCree wasn’t exactly the most jumpy person.

“God yer quiet, where the hell did you come from?” McCree looked around briefly and Hanzo just shrugged. “And yes, the hat is mine.”

“Are you implying you dress like a cowboy, outside of work?” Hanzo started down the street, his hood over his head while McCree gathered up his suitcase to follow.

“I mean,” McCree said, rain bouncing off his hat as it started to come down harder, “is that a problem?”

“No,” Hanzo said, “the bar is just-”

“Cowboy themed? I’m aware, how’d’ya think I got the job?” McCree grinned when Hanzo looked back at him horrified.

“You are not seriously proud of that, are you?” Hanzo turned the corner, the rain let up enough that he took his hood down and McCree reveled in being able to watch the water run down the back of his neck.

“Very,” McCree said, “I mean, how many people can say they got to New York and had a job in less than a week?”

“Many, I’m sure.” Hanzo glanced at him over his shoulder, and McCree could have sworn he had a cheeky smile on his face. McCree only got a glimpse, Hanzo expressed himself so rarely, and McCree was proud when he could get a peep out of him here or there.

“Like you’re one to talk anyway.” McCree flicked Hanzo’s tiny ponytail, “you walk around looking like a samurai all the time.”

“Please,” Hanzo scoffed, “as if I could be compared to a mere samurai.”

McCree barked a laugh, following Hanzo around another corner. He could just see Hanzo’s shoulders shaking, almost as if Hanzo was holding in a laugh. McCree didn’t get the chance to say anything, because Hanzo quick turned on an apartment door, flicking a key out of his pocket and opening it for McCree.

“Much obliged,” McCree said which got a quiet laugh out of Hanzo.

“I can not believe you actually talk like this all the time.” He got in front of McCree to lead him up the stairs, the building was older, so there was no elevator in site, but the walls were freshly painted. The area had been slowly getting gentrified over the years, and although McCree couldn’t afford to live that close it wasn’t horribly expensive to have a nice place around there. Not yet at least.

“Got a problem with it samurai?” McCree bit down hard on all the words, trying to emphasize his accent as much as he possibly could. Hanzo just shook his head, stopping at a big door on the top floor of the building, swinging it open into a spacious loft.

“I told you, I am not a samurai.” Hanzo flicked the lights on and McCree found himself surrounded by canvas. The smell of the paint didn’t hit him until he was in the door, looking over the couch and the open space in the middle that was a well organized table that was covered in canvas and art supplies. There were drafts of different projects, things Hanzo had mentioned before, a half finished painting here or there.

“Then what are you?” McCree asked. He was still looking around, not really realizing it might be a bit rude. There was a suitcase parked near the door, and blankets folded on the couch. McCree set his duffel bag down next to Hanzo’s luggage, slipping off his hat as Hanzo slipped off his wet coat, holding it away from himself as he tugged a camera from around his neck. McCree hadn’t even noticed he’d had it in the first place. “Where’d that come from?”

Hanzo hummed, contemplative, “more like a ninja. Where did you think I was before I met you? On the ground?” McCree stared, unsure if that was a joke or not, but Hanzo turned on his heels and grabbed onto a steep ladder on the far wall. He hopped up it quickly, and McCree had to admit it looked pretty ninja worthy. McCree couldn’t believe he was believing it, though. Hanzo just hung his coat over the bottom of the rail that cut across the loft. He offered to take McCree’s coat as well, allowing them both to hang and dry up and out of the way.

Now McCree had the chance to take more of the apartment in, the kitchen was under the loft, and there was what looked to be a bathroom towards the back. Large windows faced out towards the city, a nice view of the neighborhood all lit up in the dark. Many of the canvases had what looked to be finished and unfinished paintings, but some were as tall as McCree was. He honed in on one smaller one, just sort of looking at it more than the rest, one of the figures was clearly Hanzo, his arm around the boy in the picture next to him.

Hanzo caught on quick, picking up the painting and moving it behind another, “that one is not finished.” McCree gave him a look and then glanced at a rather large, half-painted canvas. “That is different, I have chosen not to finish that one, I just have not white washed it yet.”

“Whatever you say.” McCree turned back to the table covered in art supplies, “do you try to eat here or?”

“That is a work table, I eat at the counter,” Hanzo said, wandering into the kitchen now. He pulled two beers from the fridge, offering one to McCree who was happy to take it, flopping on the couch and looking around again.

“I can’t believe you live without a TV in this day an’ age.” It wasn’t really more than a remark, but Hanzo gestured up at the loft and said that he had one up there. He sat on the couch with McCree, cracking open the beer in a swift motion and McCree couldn’t help watching him press the can to his lips.

“So this place we are going,” Hanzo said after he’d pulled the can from his face, “what is it again?”

“It’s a ranch, up north of Santa Fe.” McCree smiled a bit fondly thinking about it. “Guess I should warn ya’ now, it’s a rehabilitation center for troubled teens. There won’t be any kids around right while we’re there, but the whole crew is a little camp counsellor-ish.”

“I have never been to camp.” Hanzo said it like it was supposed to mean something more to McCree, and then quickly added, “I don’t know what a camp counsellor is like.”

“Oh, well, I don’t know, probably rather full of ‘emselves when it comes down to it, but most of them are just trying to help people.” McCree rubbed the back of his neck, sipping his beer wondering if being at Hanzo’s the night before they’d left was a good idea. He hadn’t even been in his apartment before, he was feeling sort of like an outsider in a strange place. Everything here was sleek and modern to his rustic charm.

Humming, Hanzo rubbed his beard briefly. “You grew up there, though?”

“Ah, yeah, ‘bout that,” McCree scratched the back of his head and Hanzo looked through him for a moment.

“No need to explain,” Hanzo said, “I understand what it’s like to be young and stupid.”

“You sound like an old man.” McCree huffed a laugh and chugged about half his beer, but he was thankful that Hanzo wasn’t going to make him explain how he’d wound up at the ranch.

“Perhaps.” Hanzo sipped his beer, “what sort of ranch is it?”

“Cattle,” McCree said, “keeps the kids busy. Plus it gives us the excuse to teach ‘em how to ride the horses.”

“I can’t imagine you teaching anyone anything.” Hanzo chuckled and looked out the window, giving McCree a good chance to scan his body, trying to read him. Because if he was honest, reading Hanzo was like reading James Joyce, but McCree was getting better at it.

He laughed, “ ‘scuse you. I’m as a good a teacher as I am a gunman and I’m great shot.”

“So I have heard.” Hanzo snapped his attention back to McCree and McCree promptly returned his eyes to his can of beer. “I have yet to see you prove it.”

“I’ll show ya’ when we get down there.” McCree smirked, “by the way I have to check my bag. I have sensitive items in it.”

“And what is that?” Hanzo glanced at his own bag. McCree smiled and tipped his hat back as he knocked the rest of his beer back.

“Peacekeeper’s in there.” There was pride in McCree’s voice, and Hanzo just stared. “My trusty revolver.”

“Your gun has a name?” Hanzo narrowed his eyes, but he turned to sip at his beer, his eyes seeming to train on a cabinet sitting on the floor across from them, a small shrine sitting on top of it with a feather lying in front of old incense.

“Any good gun has a name,” McCree said. Hanzo just laughed and he shook his head a bit.

“I will take your word for it,” he mumbled, “regardless I have to check my bag as well.”

McCree glanced at the bag, “oh yeah? What have you got in there?”

“I thought since you mentioned a shooting range I should bring my bow.” Hanzo pressed his lips against the can again, but didn’t drink this time. “Although, I couldn’t fit many arrows.”

“You managed to get your bow into that thing?” McCree’s head snapped back to the bag, it wasn’t exactly large.

“Yes,” Hanzo said, “it is how it came with me to America as well.”

“Well shit,” McCree muttered. He finished his beer and got up, Hanzo offering him his empty can. They’d fallen into this routine easily at McCree’s place the few times they’d hung out, and now they could fall into it at Hanzo’s just as easily. He tossed the cans and grabbed two more, noting the rather bare, but supremely organized fridge. Hanzo didn’t seem to eat out nearly as often as McCree, but then again, Hanzo was home to cook for himself far more often. “Look alive,” he said, tossing the can to Hanzo.

Hanzo furrowed his brow at the beer, clearly displeased with the fact that it had been shaken as he carefully pulled the tab open. He sucked the foam away, trying not to drip all over himself. McCree cracked his beer and sort of just enjoyed the show as Hanzo wound up licking beer off his fingers.

They kept that up for a while, the two of them bickering and drinking like they were old friends.It didn’t take long for Hanzo to find a reason for them to both go to sleep, offering McCree the bed, but McCree knew better than to let himself try to climb a ladder after five or six beers, so instead he got to enjoy watching Hanzo scale it from the couch which was a pretty enjoyable sight.

McCree stared at the ceiling for a long time, listening to Hanzo curl up in bed and start to snore. It was gentle, but since he was in the loft McCree could hear it, imagining being in bed with Hanzo had become a sort of guilty pleasure. He reminded himself that he shouldn’t let his head wander that way and set his hat on his face, trying to block out the noise. When he finally did get to sleep, it was late and he knew he wasn’t going to get much.

–

He didn’t expect to wake up to the loudest beeping noise he’d heard short of a fire alarm, meaning, he rocketed off the couch like there was a fire. McCree blinked and stared at Hanzo who carefully reached to turn off the rice cooker which had been making the noise in the first place. Feeling silly, McCree picked up his hat and set it on his head, acting as if nothing had happened in the first place.

“Morning.” Hanzo said, opening the rice maker with one of those faint smirks on his face. He was clearly allowing McCree a bit of pride. “I was going to eat before we left, I forgot I set the rice cooker before I left yesterday. You are welcome to some, but I am unsure how palatable it’ll be for you.”

“That’s fine,” McCree said, “there ain’t much I won’t eat, lay it on me.” Hanzo made a face and rolled his eyes.

“If you insist on talking like that I won’t feed you.” He picked up an egg after setting some rice into a bowl, glancing at McCree as he chuckled and apologized. Hanzo made quick work of cracking the egg over the rice, adding soy sauce before stirring it until the egg was nice and fluffy. McCree watched him switch it into a different bowl and threw a bit of seasoning from a shaker on it, which was covered in Kanji, before setting it in front of McCree.

“You eat this normally?” McCree thanked him when Hanzo kindly handed him a fork. The few times they’d eaten Japanese food of any sort together Hanzo had insisted McCree try to use chopsticks, but McCree was pretty certain that was more for Hanzo’s amusement than anything.

“More when I don’t have much money after bills,” Hanzo said, making himself a bowl, “It is common in Japan, though.”

McCree chuckled, “I live off eggs and toast when I’m broke. Not much different I guess.” He sat at one of the stools along the countertop, watching Hanzo easily eat his with chop sticks. McCree could see him doing this there on his own, but Hanzo right now looked pleased to have company. Even if it was just McCree who was carefully trying not to get rice everywhere as he ate. “How much time do we have anyway?”

“A few hours.” Hanzo yawned, pressing his hand over his mouth. “But security might be a mess.”

McCree hummed and finished his food, letting Hanzo take his bowl as he gathered up their coats. It wasn’t raining, but it was cold for October and worse, by the time they were back, it would probably be snowing. He put that out of his mind, following Hanzo into a cab and making him stop outside the airport so he could smoke. Hanzo didn’t seem bothered, the two of them checking their bags and wandering slowly to their gate, Hanzo pausing them to buy tea only to make a face at it after a sip and wind up tossing it about halfway through.

By the time they were actually on the plane, both of them were wired and antsy without much to do, settling into their seats after a squabble about who had to sit in the middle. It stopped when some old woman told them they were cute, and Hanzo immediately sat in the middle seat to stop the fight. McCree had to squeeze past him to get in the window, but by then neither of them were as annoyed as they had been, a third person joining their row as McCree slipped a nicotine patch from his pocket.

“Is that really necessary?” Hanzo made a gesture at it as McCree slapped the patch on his forearm.

“Trust me, it’ll make the flight a whole lot easier for everyone.” He rubbed the patch gently just to make sure it was all the down, “it’s either this or I get piss drunk which would you prefer?”

Hanzo made a face, and turned away from McCree quickly, “this.” McCree just laughed as Hanzo adjusted the sleeve of his button down. McCree watched the swift way his hands moved and took note of how it looked, a nervous tick, pulling down his sleeve. He sort of wondered what would cause that, but he left it be, not wanting to make Hanzo uncomfortable just a few hours before they got to Santa Fe.

“Aren’t you warm?” McCree shifted in his seat, the plane was taxing, waiting for it’s turn on the runway as people nervously looked around. It was strange to think planes still made people scared, but even McCree had to admit they made him more than mildly uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure if it was the lack of being able to smoke or the claustrophobia, either way, McCree wasn’t a fan.

“I am fine.” Hanzo was sweating, McCree could see that Hanzo was sweating, he shifted in his seat and didn’t seem to want to take off the button down despite having a shirt on underneath. McCree kept his mouth shut, sort of wondering what he didn’t know about Hanzo as he closed his eyes.

The plane took off, both of them shooting each other looks and then staring out the window briefly before McCree shut the bright sun out. It was still early morning, but by the time they landed in Dallas it was midday, and then once they’d waited out their layover and got their bags, it was early evening in Santa Fe, the time difference saving them.

McCree led Hanzo out of the familiar airport, Hanzo’s eyes on everything as he followed close. His phone in hand, McCree was steadily scanning the line of cars looking for Sombra, who immediately climbed out the sunroof of the car when she saw them.

“Jesse!” She called, one hand at her mouth and the other waving wildly. McCree could hear Satya from outside the car, telling Sombra to get down, but that was pretty much impossible. Sombra was through the roof of the car in the next second and bounding into McCree’s arms already taking shots at him.

“Are you still dressing like a cowboy? I was hoping you’d have come home from New York, New York with a sense of taste.” Sombra smirked and Hanzo nearly choked behind them. “See, even your friend thinks so, you’ve gotta stop trying to be John Wayne.”

McCree rolled his eyes, “come on girl we’re not even home yet, quit it.” Sombra chuckled, taking Hanzo’s bag as Satya opened the trunk of the car. They all shuffled the bags into the car, Sombra pausing to introduce herself and Satya to Hanzo as they got in the car for the long ride.

“If you try to smoke in my car,” Satya said, McCree freezing with a cigarette in his hand, “you better hang your head out the window.”

“Wait Satya-”

“Sure.” McCree shrugged and opened the window, Hanzo’s eyes getting about the size of dinner plates as he lit up with his head and most of his chest out of the window. He chuckled when he heard Sombra screaming, but what grounded him was Hanzo grabbing onto his arm and tugging him back inside the car, the cigarette still in his mouth, so he grabbed it and hung it out the window.

“Are you crazy?” Hanzo looked so worried that for a moment McCree almost felt guilty, but he caught himself, smirking and chuckling.

“C’mon, y’all knew I’d be fine.” He brought the cigarette to his lips again, leaning a much more reasonable amount of his head out of the window to do it. McCree could feel Hanzo’s eyes on him, though, so he looked directly at him and smiled. 

“You always take things so literally.” Sombra admonished McCree, but Satya chuckled quietly and leaned back in her seat.

“Him too, huh?” Satya smiled at her, and McCree turned his attention back to Sombra, giving her a knowing look which got her to turn around really fast. She’d been hiding things too from what he could see, although, having a girlfriend was a lil’ different than being a bit of a shut-in whose only friend was a quiet, sarcastic graphic designer. At least he hadn’t gained any weight, otherwise she’d have been all over that.

By the time they were at the ranch, they were all talking again, Sombra doing a good job of coaxing conversation out of everyone by just chattering a mile a minute. Satya was very interested in seeing Hanzo’s laptop and drawing tablet, the two of them walking ahead of Sombra and McCree as they got to the ranch. Hanzo was handling the talking as well as he could, it seemed like it was maybe the most he’d spoken in a long time.

McCree saved him at some point, convincing Sombra to show them to their room, claiming that he was tired and he was sure Hanzo was too. It wasn’t exactly late, but Hanzo looked so thankful that he would be willing to spend the rest of the night hiding. No one was really at the ranch yet, they were between sessions of having kids there, and from what Sombra had said Morrison had gotten more scarce lately, and Ana had gone to see Fareeha and would be back soon. The list went on like that, most of the workers would be back in a few days.

Hanzo was sitting on the bed, he’d agreed to sharing before they’d even left, but he looked like he might be regretting it when he realized how small it was. McCree watched as he sighed and slipped the tie from his hair, shaking it out with his hand and McCree had to look away, swallowing hard as he grabbed a bottle, flask, and funnel from his suitcase. Hanzo only gave him a look, but after McCree had filled the flask, took the bottle of whiskey and took a shot-sized swig, handing it back to McCree who did the same.

“See why I didn’t want to be alone?” McCree glanced at Hanzo who already had his hair tied up again.

“Yes.”


	3. Chapter 3

Hanzo woke to the sound of birds early in the morning. In New York this would have been sleeping in for him, but in New Mexico it was still rather early. He probably wasn’t going to adjust to the time zone at all, it took him months to get used to New York after moving there from Japan. His head hurt just a bit, so he stretched his neck and gathered up some clothes for himself, getting into the bathroom and starting the shower.

He tugged his hair out of the tie, his shoulders dropping as he shrugged off his shirt. Frowning at the tattoo peeking out from under his tight tank top. Hanzo rubbed his chest, his thumb running down his bicep as he thought about the tattoo he’d seen on McCree’s wrist a million times before. He felt so ashamed of his, the twisting dragon that travelled down to his wrist, but McCree’s looked like it was similar in nature. Hanzo sighed, getting in the shower while the water was still cold. This was going to be a warm trip.

When he got out, his hair was hanging in his face, the most he did was sweep it back with a hand, getting it out of the way as he got dressed. By the time he wandered out, McCree was also up, moving around the room and setting things on the bed like he’d already managed to throw things everywhere. Hanzo didn’t exactly love how messy McCree was, but McCree was also, probably his only friend, so he kept his mouth shut about it.

“Morning,” McCree said, giving Hanzo a bit of a once over as he often did. Hanzo caught him all the time, but he let him be, Hanzo knew he could be hard to read. He didn’t blame McCree for trying. “I’m gonna shower, no one is probably up if you want to go down to the kitchen.”

“Thank you,” Hanzo said, scooping up the box of tea he’d brought and took a few bags out of it, because it was better than nothing honestly. He picked up his laptop bag as well, figuring he should get a little work done while he was there. Hanzo found the kitchen delightfully empty, setting his computer on the table and plugging in his tablet, spending at least two minutes trying to find the pen in his bag. Once he had that, he opened up a logo he had been working on for the past week, sort of infusing some of the colors of the desert into it, just for a different look.

He was concentrating too hard to notice Sombra and Satya come down the stairs, even if they were talking. Neither of them really paid him any mind regardless, although, he did catch Satya checking out his computer, but that was something he was used too. Sombra on the other hand was holding a pair of hair clippers in her hand, trying to convince Satya to buzz her hair again, almost whining the way McCree would when Hanzo would tell McCree that he couldn’t stay late at the bar with McCree. It was, comical, to say the least.

“I am not comfortable with that.” Satya said a few times, but Sombra kept assuring her it was very easy.

“Yo,” Sombra said, turning on Hanzo once she seemed convinced that Satya would honestly not shave her head for her, “you have an undercut, ever done this?”

He stared at McCree’s adopted younger sister a long moment, finding the family resemblance very suddenly. He wanted to know where McCree was, because Hanzo was certain McCree could’ve gotten Hanzo out of this situation. “I have, but-”

“Perfect, help a girl out please?” Sombra slapped the clippers into his hand and he tried to turn to Satya, but she was now facing the counter. He couldn’t tell if she was actually doing something, or just making herself busy. “C’mon, it won’t be so bad, stop looking so serious!”

Hanzo made a face as Sombra plugged the clippers into the wall. “I have never done it on someone else,” Hanzo said, pressing his lips into a line as Sombra gathered her hair and tied it into a bun on the very top of her head.

“You’ll be fine.” Sombra waved a hand at her, “it just needs to be cleaned up a little. If you want, I can clean yours up when you’re done.”

“Maybe.” Hanzo sighed and turned the clippers on, being careful to find the lines where her long hair started before he carefully edged around her ears, drawing lines on each side to make sure it wound up even. He was surprised to find she had a full undercut, the way she wore the long mohawk made it seem like it was only half her head.

When he finished she shook herself off, Hanzo blowing out the clippers quickly only to have Sombra come by and sit him down quickly. “You really do not have to,” Hanzo said, but Sombra was already tipping his head down.

“Yours is shaggy too.” Sombra smiled, “got to look good for the dead tomorrow.”

“Ah yes, I guess that is important, they see so well.” Hanzo waited for them to be mad at him, but Sombra laughed loud much like McCree would, and Satya giggled as she down with her tea, taking another look at Hanzo’s laptop and tablet, which was still sitting out with his project open.

“I think I see why my brother likes you.” Sombra turned the clippers on and started following the line of Hanzo’s hair, being careful to move his pony tail out of the way when she got close. It was about then that McCree came down the stairs, immediately making a face and looking around the ground.

“There’s hair everywhere.” He was looking at the ground, Sombra was about half-way across Hanzo’s head.

“So it’s no different than your apartment floor,” Hanzo said. Sombra had to pull the clippers away from his head she was laughing so hard, and Satya was even doubled over. McCree went straight for the coffee maker, pouting just a bit in a way that made Hanzo’s stomach flutter, so he lowered his head again for Sombra instead of thinking about it.

“I brought you here to be on my side.” McCree was pretending to be betrayed, but it made Hanzo freeze up a little bit, and it took a lot to not automatically apologize to him for it.

“He can be on your side and still call you out.” Sombra finished shaving Hanzo’s head and went to get a broom after she blew out the clippers. Hanzo retreated back to his computer, Satya sitting across from him with her tea, fidgeting with the string from the bag as McCree and Sombra bickered.

“Are you doing work? Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?” McCree was hovering over Hanzo now, a plate of bacon he and Sombra had somehow managed to make between the banter, Hanzo was pretty certain there were also pancakes, those were just taking longer.

“I could not take the full two weeks off,” Hanzo said, “plus I don’t mind this client.” It was true, she ran a non-profit organization, so Hanzo was already willing to do a bit more for her, citing it a type of donation in his head. She was also willing to pay well.

McCree hummed, “whatever happened to that one? Y’know, when we first started talking you told me you were trying to send an e-mail to tell ‘em their taste was shitty?”

“What?” Sombra perked up, laughing a bit already, “you told one of your clients that?”

“Not in those words.” Hanzo slipped his tablet pen back into his bag, knowing it’d get lost if he just set it down. “But I fired him. I decided his money was not worth my time.”

Sombra barked a laugh, “what’d he do to deserve that?”

“He tried to pay me with experience.” Hanzo paused a moment, “exposure? Is that the word?”

“Exposure I believe,” Satya said, a nice smile on her face.

“Wait, he just tried ta’ not pay ya’?” McCree looked baffled, setting a plate full of pancakes on the table now. Sombra was following him with plates and silverware, so Hanzo quickly started to close up shop, leaving his tablet plugged into his laptop as he slipped it into his bag, setting that on the floor.

“It happens a lot more than you would think.” Hanzo said and McCree just hummed, Satya taking the opportunity to mention that it happened a lot in web development too, which started her and Hanzo on an easy conversation about the frustrations of their jobs. Satya could talk a lot, and Hanzo was willing to let her, he was happy to hold a conversation that was mostly humming and nodding along to what someone else was saying, it made everything easier when he didn’t have to try to quickly form English sentences in his head.

They ate breakfast, and almost on queue another person showed up at the ranch, an older man with gray hair and scars on his face from had to have been combat. It was the only thing that Hanzo could imagine would cause something that brutal. He was gruff, but happy to see McCree, shaking Hanzo’s hand firmly, introducing himself simply as Jack, and apologized for being covered in dust. He had been with the cattle, apparently.

Sombra convinced him to sit down, feeding him pancakes despite him making comments about how sweet they were. He still seemed happy to eat what Sombra and McCree had made. Satya was now on the phone, having a quick conversation with someone from work, so McCree waved Hanzo out of the house into the driest heat Hanzo had ever experienced in his entire life.

He was sweating by the time they were at the stable, McCree giving him a strange glance. “Did you bring a single t-shirt with you? I told ya’ it’d be hot.”

“Yes.” Hanzo did, in fact have t-shirts, to go under hoodies and button downs. McCree was slipping his flannel off to reveal a dark green t-shirt. It fit him well, and Hanzo quickly found himself forcing his eyes elsewhere. “I prefer to have my arms covered,” he said simply.

“Oh, kay.” McCree didn’t seem too convinced. “Well, I figured it might be good if we get the horses a little exercise. If you want to change before we leave-”

“I am fine.” Hanzo assured. He hadn’t even managed to sweat through his undershirt yet.

“All right.” McCree still sounded unconvinced, but he also seemed willing to change the subject. “I’ll give you one of the easy horses, I can teach you if you’ve never ridden before…”

Hanzo accidentlaly tuned him out, McCree walking down the middle of the stables as Hanzo paused by a big black horse. He reminded him of the ones his family had in Japan, and in all honesty, Hanzo had a soft spot for most animals, gently patting and petting the horse who leaned down to sniff his head. He caught McCree staring at him when he looked back, tuning him in again.

“I am sorry, I missed that last part,” Hanzo still had his hands on the horse, who was now trying to lick the side of his face. He chuckled and turned back to the horse, trying to get it to stop.

“Uh, nothin’ how about you take that one? He seems to like ya’,” McCree said, opening the half door the horse was bent over. McCree also pulled out a sweet buckskin that also took a liking to Hanzo who was feeding both of them oats when McCree wasn’t looking. McCree had them saddled up quick, talking about riding up into the mountains and this and that while Hanzo mostly played with the horses. “I swear to god, you’re more at home with a horse than a person.”

“That is because they do not talk,” Hanzo said. McCree just laughed and started to try and instruct Hanzo how to get on the horse, but Hanzo stepped up easily, the big black horse taking to him as he scratched his ears. Apparently the horse’s name was Jim, which just pleased Hanzo a bit more.

“Where in hell did you learn to ride a horse?” McCree was still on the ground, his horse, Johnny Cash, although it was a mare, sniffing at his hat. “And for that matter, why didn’t ya’ say somethin’ while I was sayin’ I’d teach you?”

“My family had horses.” Hanzo went about directing the horse towards the end of the stable, heading outside as McCree got on his. “And it was because I didn’t hear it. I was busy petting the horse.”

He heard McCree grumble something, but soon him and Johnny were at Hanzo’s side, “y’know. That horse hates everyone. I’ve never seen him take to anyone that quick.”

“Jim and I are similar, we bonded,” Hanzo said. It got a laugh out of McCree as they headed up a path away from the ranch and the fields where the cattle were grazing. McCree was heading up into some red rocks, Hanzo close behind him as he took in the landscape. It might have been swealtering, but at least the view was nice. Hanzo found himself thinking about work again.

“Just so you know, we’re probably going to spend most of the day in the cemetery tomorrow,” McCree said, “sounds like Sombra got herself really involved in this year’s local celebration.”

“I understand,” Hanzo said, “that is what we came for, after all.” He looked back at McCree who was leaning forward a bit to pet the back of his horse’s head, mumbling something soft to her. Hanzo smiled, it was endearing to say the least, to catch McCree speaking only to his horse.

McCree straightened up, rolling his shoulders back and he held the reins a bit differently than he had been, “yeah I just, don’t know how Japanese people handle this sort of thing, Mexicans, we’re a little all over the grave sites.” He chuckled and guided his horse up a steep spot in the path, Hanzo following suit, starting to realize he was using muscles he hadn’t used in years, even if the motion came back naturally, he’d be tired after this, that was certain.

“We clean them with water and burn incense as we pray,” Hanzo said, “I have not done it in a very long time, but I remember the motions.” He tried not to think about it, the feeling of the cement underneath him in his family’s shrine before he’d left Japan behind for good. It wasn’t really right, it hadn’t been his brother’s grave, but it had been something. “Most burn incense at home in their shrines as well.”

“Ah, is that what you had in your apartment?” McCree glanced back at him, so Hanzo just nodded. “I was wonderin’, doesn’ look much different from what we’ll be doing tomorrow too be honest.”

Hanzo hummed, both of them seeming to grow uncomfortable with the conversation, so McCree started to ramble. He was good at that, talking about his horse, and how he’d named her without knowing she was a mare, but she was his horse, and she was Johnny for good now. Hanzo leaned forward to pet Jim, his fingers running through the horse’s soft hair.

“Hey stop a minute,” McCree said, pulling on the reins gently and then hopping off Johnny. He took a few steps, turned back and got her to stop. Hanzo was overheating, trying not to mention it, but he was. McCree wandered up to a tree and then glanced back at Hanzo, “there’s a stream, want to take a break?”

“Yes please.” Hanzo was off Jim in a moment, leading the horse into the grass to graze and drink. McCree had was sitting next to Johnny as she drank, rinsing his face in the water, his hat tipped back. Hanzo leaned down and dipped his hands first. The stream was delightfully cold, coming from somewhere up in the mountains and Hanzo wet the back of his neck, working his way around and down his collar bone, conceding just a little bit and unbuttoning his shirt.

McCree chuckled as he watched him, “I swear, you’re allowed to take that off.” He was leaning against the tree, watching Johnny graze to make sure she didn’t wander too far, Jim was following her, chewing on grass as he went.

“I will burn,” Hanzo said. McCree rolled his eyes just a bit, tipping his hat further down now as if he were going to take a nap. He looked like sign that was out front of his bar which had a very stereotypical cowboy with his arms behind his head, his hat tipped just the way McCree’s was.

“Heat stroke requires hospitalization,” McCree said, “a burn only needs aloe.”

Hanzo realized about then just how concerned McCree was, his voice muffled by his hat. He frowned, looking over the tattoo on McCree’s wrist again and tried to stomach the anxiety enough to take off his button down. Hanzo could feel the panic before he even tried, so instead, he sat under the tree with McCree.

“If we cool off and rest for a while I will be fine.” He settled against the trunk, nearly pressing his shoulder against McCree’s, but he was careful to keep distance between them. He swore he could already hear McCree snoring, but adjusted his hat and looked at Hanzo.

“Just tell me if you need to stop again then,” McCree said. Hanzo turned away from him fast, feeling his pride shrivel a bit at the motion, but McCree was being so genuinely sweet he was losing his grip. McCree didn’t invite him here because of anything romantic, Hanzo reminded himself.

“I will.” Hanzo lowered himself against the tree more, his shoulders hunched up. McCree chuckled at him.

“You look like a kid when you do that,” McCree said. Definitely not romantic at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let this one out a little early since I accidentally queued my Tumblr post for a day earlier than normal. Anyway, I hope you have fun guys! Have a great day! :)


	4. Chapter 4

They were back in time for lunch, and another new person was at the ranch, this time it was an older woman with gray hair, who looked like she could still go toe to toe with a trained soldier in a fight. She smiled wide as they headed for the porch, calling McCree Jesse and swinging her arms around his neck.

“Mom!” McCree was grinning from ear to ear as he picked her up. 

“I have told you before, I am not your mother!” She laughed as he swung her around and Hanzo found himself smiling. It was nice to see McCree so lively around people. He was always lively of course, but at the bar it felt like he was doing his customer service persona all the time, even with Hanzo sometimes. Now it was all genuine. “If I was your mother could you imagine how old I’d be?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know too old for your likin’,” McCree turned to Hanzo now, a very different attitude with this woman than he’d had with anyone else he’d introduced Hanzo to, “Hanzo this is Ana, she and Reyes basically raised me. This is Hanzo, a friend from New York.”

Ana hummed, McCree’s gentle hand still on her shoulder as he turned her towards Hanzo. It felt very much like Hanzo was being judged, Ana had eyes that could burn a hole in a person, Hanzo was certain, but he stood straight. This would never be as bad as his own father, and Ana brightened up once she’d approved him it seemed.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Ana took his hand in hers, a warm handshake that almost felt like a hug. “You must be overheating in that, come along you two, inside, were you with the horses?”

The smile on McCree’s face was very ‘told you so’, but Hanzo just glowered at him as Ana led them inside. Sombra and Satya cheered when they got in, a bottle of beer in Sombra’s hand already.

“Day drinking? What happened to my baby sister who never drank?” McCree asked, ruffling Sombra’s carefully styled hair as he made for the kitchen, much to her chagrin.

“I’m celebrating the return of my big brother! Don’t be so ashamed of me, you know you’ve influenced me to be this way.” She laughed as McCree feigned surprise at her.

“Me? Never?” McCree handed Hanzo a beer and then slipped a bottle opener from his pocket, popping it open for him.

“You work at a bar,” Hanzo said, “I’ve seen you do shots in the middle of the day.”

McCree shushed him and laughed, giving Ana a bottle of beer as well and popping it open for her, “she don’t know that! Don’t tell her!”

Ana admonished them all, finding her way over to sit by Jack and speak quietly with him about someone Hanzo guessed must have been her child. Satya and Sombra got the two of them to join them at the table, making sandwiches and singing a song in Spanish as they did. They set one in front of Hanzo first, sighting that he was more polite when McCree complained. The two were giggly, Satya sipping a margarita as they ate their lunch. Jack and Ana joined eventually, and Hanzo learned that they were the ones who ran the ranch, and it seemed McCree’s father, from what Hanzo had gathered, had worked with them to do it.

Now it seemed they were swapping stories, things that had happened on the ranch, and with Reyes, who had passed away just under a year before. Hanzo was starting to catch on to the workings of the ranch, counsellors like Sombra and Satya stayed with the teens and young adults who were brought in. They taught them how to work the ranch and had them help keep the place running, and they’d do other activities to rehabilitate them. Hanzo was getting curious what McCree’s life was like before he’d found himself here. It sounded like they’d saved all their lives.

“I mostly remember you crying,” Sombra said, “you were so upset your parents were leaving you here, but how long had you been in your room?”

Satya was blushing, “it had not been that long. And I wasn’t crying becuase they were leaving me here, I was crying because they were taking my computer back home with them. I was excited about the horses.”

“Yeah I remember that, “ McCree chimed in now, “I swear you didn’t say a word to anyone, but the moment we brought you to the stables you started telling us all about their bones or somethin’.”

“They were my special interest.” Satya smiled, “I know quite a bit about them.”

Sombra chuckled fondly, “they still are your special interest, I catch you reading about them all the time.” Satya blushed, and even Jack seemed to crack a smile.

“I think my favorite was Gabriel bringing McCree back here by the scruff.” Ana held up her hands and grabbed Jack to mimic it, who was laughing rather fondly now, “and he basically held him up and said, ‘look, I found one that was already wearing a cowboy hat.’”

Hanzo blinked as they all laughed, McCree rather bashfully looking away from him when Hanzo turned. “Wait, you dressed like that before you lived here?” Hanzo asked. McCree looked especially uncomfortable as Sombra laughed, banging her hand lightly on the table as Satya slipped a small ball from her pocket, rolling it between her hands as she laughed.

“Maybe,” McCree said.

“And you found a cowboy themed bar to work at?” Hanzo asked. Everyone in the room paused, and McCree was frozen solid.

“Wait, repeat that for me, did you just say Jesse works at a cowboy themed bar?” Sombra was very obviously delighted, and Hanzo realized that McCree had not told any of them.

“You really are no different than you were when you were sixteen,” Jack said. Satya and Sombra were both laughing so hard they looked like they couldn’t breathe, and Ana was quickly getting to that point.

“You really had to go and tell them?” McCree didn’t actually sound mad, but he looked mad when Hanzo just chuckled and smirked at him.

“You didn’t tell me that it was a secret.” Hanzo sipped his beer and McCree groaned, the whole table still laughing.

“You don’t get to laugh, you hang out in that bar a lot,” McCree said, now sort of laughing with everyone.

“Yeah, I can not imagine you in a saloon Hanzo.” It was Satya who piped up, but Hanzo just shrugged.

“It is cheap and close to my apartment.” Hanzo chuckled, and everyone quickly agreed that it was fair, which only floored McCree more.

“How come he gets a pass and I get two weeks worth of jokes slung at me?” McCree was laughing now too, everyone at the table was the right number of beers in to just laugh when everyone else was laughing.

“‘Cause he doesn’t run around acting like a stereotype,” Sombra said. She managed to say it so dryly that she broke Jack, who was now doubled over on the table with Ana.

“Okay, but this one ninjas around New York to take pictures.” McCree gestured to Hanzo.

“I don’t think ninja is a verb.” Hanzo was laughing now, his beer pressed against his lips because he had been trying to drink it, but that was getting harder by the minute.

“Wait do you do that parkour thing? I love watching those videos.” Sombra was suddenly very interested in hearing Hanzo try to talk about his training back in Japan. It certainly wasn’t parkour, but it was sort of similar, now that Hanzo made the connection. He was trying to skirt around why he’d really been taught it in the first place.

They spent the afternoon like this, and by the time they were in their room, Hanzo was crashing hard. He’d had quite a few drinks, luckily spread apart enough that he wasn’t wasted, but he certainly was drunk.

“Likin’ everyone okay?” McCree asked. Hanzo was lying face first on his side of the bed, his ponytail sticking straight up in the air. “You seem to be gettin’ along just fine.”

“They are all very friendly,” Hanzo said, “and they like to make fun of you, so that is a bonus.”

McCree scoffed and sat down on the bed, tugging his boots off. “What else is a family for?”

“Hmm, my family was never like this.” Hanzo was just drunk enough to not have a filter. He trusted McCree not to take advantage. McCree never had before.

“What were they like? You grew up in Japan, right?” McCree laid back on the bed once he had his shoes off. They were both fully clothed, they both might end up sleeping that way, Hanzo couldn’t really be sure, but he knew there was no way he was getting up to change.

“Traditional,” Hanzo said, “and my house was like a museum. I don’t think my father ever spoke to me without also telling me what I had to do, or what I needed to be like.”

McCree hummed softly, turning towards Hanzo and sliding his arms under his pillow. Hanzo stole a look at him over his arm, his soft face relaxing into the pillow was a nice sight. It was one Hanzo was coming to enjoy for other reasons, but that was the booze, definitely the alcohol. “That’s no way to raise a kid,” McCree said, “sorry you had to live like that.”

Hanzo swallowed, a bit taken aback again as he turned his eyes towards the pillow in front of him. “Ah, it was, it was fine. It’s something you grow used to, and being in so many martial arts was a nice distraction. Kyudo saved me.”

“Still ain’t right,” McCree said, “but I guess at least you made the best of it. Did ya’ have siblings at least? Someone to talk to?”

Now Hanzo stiffened, and it must have been noticeable, because when he glanced at McCree, he found him looking at Hanzo concerned. “A younger brother,” Hanzo said, “he was not lucky enough to make it out of my family.”

McCree looked him over, and Hanzo pressed his face into the pillow, the alcohol starting to overwhelm him. Luckily, McCree just said he thought it was time for bed, and turned out the lights. The last thing Hanzo heard him say was, “if you ever need to talk,” before Hanzo was out like a light.


	5. Chapter 5

McCree woke to the sound of Hanzo slipping out of the room. It was early again, the two of the both struggling with the time difference obviously. He laid himself flat, thinking about everything the day before and then to everything Sombra was going to make him do that day. He wasn’t incredibly excited to spend his whole day in the cemetery, but he also knew it meant a lot to Sombra.

He sat up and showered, putting on a nicer pair of jeans than he’d worn the day before and a nice button up with a pattern on it that made it look like a flannel. McCree figured there was no reason to dress any different if he was supposed to be dressing for Gabe. McCree left his hat behind, combing his hair and taking the time to clean up his beard quickly.

McCree hung himself out the window to smoke a cigarette, knowing that Ana would yell at him if she caught him doing it downstairs. He got into the kitchen to find Hanzo alone, working on something with his tablet again. McCree walked passed him, getting a quiet good morning as he went to make coffee.

Hanzo seemed to be finishing something, condensing files as he’d told McCree before and sending them out to clients. “You would think I sent them garbage the way some of these people react….” Hanzo muttered as he worked on changing all the colors in a logo to seafoam green and firetruck red, “now it just looks terrible.”

“Havin’ some trouble there?” McCree sat next to him at the table with his coffee in hand after dumping cream into it.

“I am not the one who is having trouble,” Hanzo grumbled, “it is the people who are changing their brand colors every other week who are having trouble.”

McCree laughed, sipping at his coffee, being careful to hold it and not get it too close to Hanzo’s laptop. “You could just fire these ones like you did that other.”

Hanzo paused, pressing his lips into a deep line, “these ones are paying me more.” McCree laughed and Hanzo reached a ways across the table for his tea, taking a few sips before putting it back just out of reach.

“Letting go of your morals for money are we? Tsk, tsk,” McCree said. Hanzo scoffed and muttered the word ‘morals’. McCree smiled, his coffee cup pressed against his lips, “it’d looked better in the colors you had before.”

“I know it did, but I want to be done.” Hanzo sighed, “it is their problem if they want to look garish and tacky.”

McCree chuckled as Hanzo sent the logo off in it’s bright red and seafoam glory. “Could be worse right?” McCree asked, Hanzo just grunted, looking at his computer angrily, “what companies are you working for right now anyway? You don’t talk about work much.”

“Right now, I’m designing a website and logo for a non-profit that takes dress donations, for, what is that thing called, Prom?” Hanzo waited to get a nod from McCree before he went on, “there’s a pool for dogs that I’m finishing up my contract with, I did their logo and a few designs for their life vests, a cover for a novel, and another logo for a coffee shop. Ah, and this one I just sent that I hate for a boutique somewhere in the city.”

McCree blinked a bit, “that’s a lot isn’t it?” Hanzo shrugged and thought it over a bit.

“If the boutique and the coffee shop had been paying less and I had not been going out of town, I probably would have taken on a few more. I just make sure the deadlines are spread out,” he said. McCreed hummed and sipped at his coffee.

“You’re a bit of a workaholic, huh?” McCree narrowed his eyes at him just a bit, and Hanzo scoffed.

“You are at that bar every time I am there,” Hanzo said.

McCree laughed, “yeah I guess that was a bit of the pot calling the kettle black.” Hanzo looked more confused than McCree had ever seen him, which just had McCree laughing harder, “it’s a saying, like I was bein’ hypocritical.”

“Oh,” Hanzo said and McCree barely caught the blush on his face, “why did you not just say so?”

“Sorry.” McCree chuckled, “us Southerners like shit like that.”

“I see.” Hanzo said, he was opening another file on his computer now, and McCree might have been stealing a look. It was just a bunch of sketches it seemed, maybe a warm up or a dump page, but he did catch the one in the middle clearly, because it was McCree standing behind the bar. He’d never noticed Hanzo drawing him.

Hanzo switched something so that the sketch was gone, and McCree stood up, poking through the fridge. It was still early, very early. “You want something to eat?”

“Yes, please,” Hanzo stood up, distracted from what he’d been doing. McCree chuckled, and they managed to find what they needed to make omlettes, and McCree was surprised to find that Hanzo could crank out omelettes like a short order cook, making McCree and himself one, and then quickly making another for Jack when he got downstairs. He wound up making more for Ana, Satya, and Sombra, who all came down together.

McCree needed to convince him to do this sometime for him when they were home, but he already owed Hanzo so much. At the very least, even after this, it seemed like they’d still be friends. He was stealing glances here or there, he just hoped Hanzo didn’t catch on.

Sombra went back upstairs with Satya to get dressed, and Hanzo asked if he was going to do the same since Sombra had mentioned dressing nice for the dead. McCree smiled, “but this is my formal flannel.”

Hanzo looked so genuinely dumbfounded that even Ana was laughing. “Is that a real thing?” Hanzo sounded concerned for the fate of humanity.

“It is a thing.” McCree was laughing still, “I’m kiddin’ though, I’m going in this because this is how Gabe woulda’ remembered me.” Ana’s laughing stopped. She seemed to get somber fast, but McCree waved a hand at her, “awe c’mon mom, don’t get sad again. You know he wouldn’t want that.”

“Yes I know, Jesse,” Ana sighed, “I’m going to go get dressed, thank you for breakfast Hanzo.”

“You’re welcome,” Hanzo said. McCree watched her go, but she was smiling by the time she was on the stairs, so he wasn’t too worried about her. “Is she all right?” Hanzo looked really worried.

“Yeah she’s fine,” McCree said, “Gabe’s death was just very sudden, I reckon’ maybe it gets to us all like that sometimes.”

Hanzo hummed, looking McCree over carefully. He stood up and took their plates, McCree trying to get up to follow, but Hanzo shook his head, “I can do the dishes.” Hanzo was quick about it too, getting them all in the dishwasher and turning it on before he came back to the table.

Sombra was down then, a brightly colored dress on and a basket full of what McCree hoped was food. He was handed a different basket, and then they were all herded towards the old ranch truck, McCree and Hanzo getting put in the flatbed with the baskets and a big pile of blankets which were for the cemetery, as well as a few for them to lay out on the bed of the truck.

“I didn’t realize Americans actually did this,” Hanzo said, “I thought it as a thing that was only done in movies.”

McCree laughed and set his hands behind his head as he laid out, “it’s not legal exactly, but when you’re short on room, y’know?” Hanzo just chuckled, lying down next to him and put an arm behind his head. McCree couldn’t help the way he was watching, Hanzo wearing another button down which covered his entire arms. McCree had rolled up his sleeves at least, looking at the gang tattoo on his arm as he cradled his head. It couldn’t have been something like that under Hanzo’s shirt, could it? Maybe it was a scar.

They got to the cemetery just as everything was starting. The sun wasn’t at the highest point in the sky yet, everyone milling about in the already warm morning air. People were cleaning graves, clipping grass and decorating already. McCree thought about all the times he’d been here with Gabe, hearing him talking about doing it for a few of his army buddies that he’d lost in combat. Gabe had grown up in the area, McCree was pretty certain he’d inherited the ranch and now Jack owned.

Sombra led them to the gravestone reading Gabriel Reyes and McCree had to swallow the lump in his throat. It was sort of strange thinking that he was gone at all when he was in New York, but now he was standing in front of Gabe’s grave again and everything was sort of hitting him as he watched Sombra cover it in marigolds and tissue paper, setting a nice picture of the three of them together on it, and another of Gabe and Jack.

“There are a lot of people here.” Hanzo voice tugged him out of his own head, thank god, and McCree looked around, making a noise of agreement that was rather non-committal, but he was afraid his voice might crack or waiver if he tried to talk. So Hanzo kept talking, “and there is so much grass. Most cemeteries in Japan are all stone.”

“Are they?” McCree asked. Sombra handed him a pair of clippers for the grass, so he bent down, carefully cutting the grass away around it so it would look nice and neat. Sombra smiled at him when they were both bent down, Satya carefully laying out a blanket next to the headstone, one of the baskets getting placed there so Sombra could take out the food she’d brought as an offering. Sugary bread and small thin churros, which were Gabe’s absolute favorite thing to eat.

“Yes,” Hanzo said, “and the grave stones usually have a place to hold incense.” Hanzo seemed like he was hitting his limit on talking about this, so Sombra piped up.

“I’ve read that there’s a special way to cleanse the grave with water too, yeah?” She glanced up at Hanzo as McCree finished with the grass, handing her the clippers back.

“Ah, yes, I usually burn incense at home, I am not in a graveyard often enough to know,” Hanzo said. McCree gave him a raw look on accident, and Hanzo seemed to try to soften at him, but they were both uncomfortable, McCree could feel it, that’s why Hanzo was talking as much as he was.

“How about we go get us all something to eat, that whole basket’s for Gabe, yeah?” McCree asked. Hanzo looked thankful as Sombra agreed and they started to walk away. They were quiet, getting to a vendor with a cart set up, selling mangos covered in cayenne and churros and all sorts of really unhealthy, really good shit.

“So colorful,” Hanzo said. McCree couldn’t help but chuckle as they saw some dancers go by in their traditional outfits, not unlike what Sombra was wearing, in the distance, McCree could see her joining them. Sombra had started to learn traditional dancing on the ranch and she had never given it up, McCree used to dance with her sometimes if she dragged him into it.

“I know, it can be a little overstimulatin’.” McCree bought them mangos and chips, leaving the churros for later, and at the last second he grabbed a sugar skull, figuring he should actually contribute to the offerings at Gabe’s grave and if his comments about McCree’s tattoo were any indication, Gabe had always seemed to like skulls, even if McCree’s tattoo was a mark of the gang he used to be in, Gabe had told him that he liked the skull.

“No I like it,” Hanzo said, “ it reminds me of the festivals in Hanamura.”

“Oh yeah?” McCree glanced back at him, “when was the last time you were at one? Hanzo flinched, and McCree saw his eyes dart to his left arm. He was wearing long sleeves but Hanzo tugged the cuff down again.

“I have not been back, since I moved to America,” Hanzo said. McCree’s eyes got wide, but he handed Hanzo the container of mangos and tried to reel himself back in.

“You haven’t been home since you moved?” McCree asked, “do you not have family there anymore?”

“Moving to America was an effort to get away from my family.” Hanzo’s voice was flat as they started their way back through the growing crowd.

“I’m,” McCree tried to find the right words, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I have gotten over it,” Hanzo said, “it’s been a long time since I have been in Japan and I like New York.” Hanzo still looked somber, like he did miss home, but he was trying not to say that. McCree couldn’t believe he had to avoid the entire country to avoid his family, but he wasn’t about to question this too much further.

“But does New York feel like home?” McCree asked.

“Does it feel like home for you?” Hanzo asked. That stopped McCree in his tracks. Hanzo was right, McCree really had no place to talk like that, and he had been hiding from things he didn’t want to face maybe, but to him that meant that maybe Hanzo was doing the very same.

“Y’know, if you ever want to go home Han,” McCree said, “I can go with you. You came here, I’m willing.”

To McCree’s surprise, when Hanzo whipped his eyes back to him, he didn’t look angry, just earnestly surprised and maybe even blushing? There was no way right? McCree stared at him as he turned away, sure enough the tops of his ears were red too, and somehow Hanzo hadn’t gotten sunburnt without a hat the day before.

“That is not necessary,” Hanzo said, “I do not wish to go back.” It was curt, very much the Hanzo McCree had met when he first started working at the bar, but then he glanced back at McCree, his eyes lingering on him a minute, “thank you though. I appreciate your concern.”

“Course,” McCree muttered and then they were back at the gravestone, Satya sitting comfortably with her legs folded under her on the blanket as she watched the mariachi play and Sombra dance with the other dancers. Hanzo took an interest as well, watching them all dance in fluid motions of their colorful dresses.

They sat down with the food, Satya quickly going for the mangos as Hanzo set them down, mentioning that they should get elote later. McCree quickly agreed and they all broke into a conversation about food, Sombra eating with them for a few bites here or there between dancing.

It didn’t take long for it to suddenly be mid-afternoon, the sun at its hottest as people set up chairs and blankets everywhere, singing and playing music. Everything was bright colors and sweet smelling marigolds. Sombra came by and took a very nervous Satya to dance with a group, Sombra swinging their hips together and guiding Satya through the movements. It was fun to watch, McCree liked seeing his sister so happy.

People were talking to headstones, McCree looked at the stone next to them with Gabe’s name, as Hanzo struggled to try and eat elote without getting cheese or mayonnaise all over himself. McCree scooped up the little sugar skull, it had almost been forgotten, and unwrapped it, placing it next to the photo of Gabe with Sombra and him.

“That is a good picture.” Hanzo said, apparently having set down the corn, McCree wasn’t sure if he’d given up or just decided he wanted to talk to McCree at that moment.

“Yeah, it’s actually from my birthday a few,” McCree said. They were all wearing tiny birthday cowboy hats, because Sombra had thought she was really clever that year.

Hanzo chuckled, “I am not surprised.” There was a pause and then Hanzo finally picked up his head to look at McCree his hair blocking part of his face, “how did you end up with Gabe at the ranch?”

McCree sighed and turned back to Hanzo, leaning on the headstone just a bit, it wasn’t about to move, so he crossed his arms and relaxed a bit, “when I was fourteen I joined a gang called the Deadlocks, they were the most active gang in Santa Fe at the time, and they had a feud going on with Los Muertos. I travelled with them a bit, did some drug running, spent time in San Francisco with them, and when we got back here it was an all out war between us and them. There was this huge brawl, outside a bar, it was in their territory, more of ‘em just kept showing up, and even though I knew better, I called the cops. I was seventeen and terrified.”

“I understand.” Hanzo looked as if he really did understand, and McCree just pushed on, rubbing the back of his neck now, before glancing at the tattoo on his arm.

“When the cops showed up, they rounded everyone up, it came out real quick that I was the one who’d pulled that trigger, and now my entire gang was gunnin’ for my head. Y’know how that shit goes, ” McCree made a gesture with his finger across his neck, “anyway, we all got dragged in, but I was a minor still, the only one that survived, the other boys my age weren’t so lucky. My own ma’ wouldn’t come, but Gabe, I didn’t even know him, he showed up and dragged me back to the ranch kicking and screaming.”

Hanzo chuckled carefully, “is that why he had you by the scruff?”

“Yeah,” McCree laughed, “I hated myself so much, I thought getting killed off by my own gang in prison was better than ending up back on a ranch, that’s where I’d started. In my head it was like the ultimate insult. Gabe wasn’t about to give up on me though, not a little Spanish speaking kid, he’d always had a soft spot for helping kids who weren’t going to get shit from the state no matter how good they were. I would’ve been tried as an adult if not for him.”

“He sounds like a good man.” Hanzo picked up a bottle of water as McCree nodded.

“Yeah, he was my dad, even if he hated when Sombra and I called him that,” McCree said, “he’d always yell that I was too old to be his kid. Jack never seemed to mind it though, I guess he found it an endearing.”

Hanzo chuckled as Sombra popped up from behind the grave, sitting down and leaning into McCree to wrap an arm around his neck, “why do the two of you look so serious? We’re supposed to be celebrating, come on Jesse, come dance with me.”

“Hell no,” McCree said, “you’re going to need way more tequila if you want me to dance.”

“I’d like to see that,” Hanzo said. Sombra had a wicked grin on her face, grabbing a big bottle from the basket next to her. McCree was almost intimidated that she’d brought something so big with her.

“Don’t look like that, I needed enough for us and for Gabe,” Sombra said and then quickly poured a glass, setting that on the headstone near the sugar skull before she pulled out plastic cups for them all. McCree felt sick already, but they took the shot together, Hanzo managing to shut down Sombra trying to get them to do another by suggesting she find paint so he could paint skulls on her and Satya.

Satya immediately rejected any paint being on her skin, her shoulders hunching and she looked so uncomfortable for a moment that Hanzo apologized for suggesting it and said he’d remember that next time. Sombra was entirely excited for it, though, sitting very still as she handed over the paints to Hanzo. It didn’t take much for him to work out what he was doing, laying down a white shape and building from it.

When he was done, Sombra looked like she had been done by a professional, some of the neon paints seeming to glow in the evening sun. She attracted attention too, and Hanzo wound up painting the faces of several young girls, but he got faster each time. Sombra saved him by showing up with concha, which got the kids’ moms telling them not to bother them while they ate.

“Awe Sombrita, you’re the best,” McCree said as Sombra handed her the bread, but she pulled it back fast.

“What have I told you about calling me that?” Sombra’s face was stern and Satya was glancing between them. McCree put on his best puppy dog face and pouted just a bit. Hanzo blushed again, just long enough for McCree to catch it.

“I’m only allowed to call you that on the ranch,” he said, “but come on, you’re my little sister.” Sombra pursed her lips and offered him the bread again.

“You’re on thin ice, I’m not Fareeha,” she said and sat down with a feigned huff. It only took her a moment to crack another smile, McCree splitting the bread in half and giving it to Hanzo. Hanzo took one bite and lit up until he realized they were all looking at him.

“We have something like this in Japan,” he explained when McCree gave him a bit of a confused look.

“What’s it called?” McCree asked.

“Melonpan, it’s just sweet bread though, there’s nothing on top like this.” Hanzo took another bite, clearly enjoying it being similar to what he remembered. “Do you really have another sister?”

“Ah, Fareeha, Ana’s daughter,” McCree said and Hanzo hummed. It seemed like Hanzo was picking up on how the ranch had worked for them all. “I taught her how to shoot a gun, and she’s been my little sister ever since, she ain’t much younger then Sombra.”

“She was the only good kid on that ranch,” Sombra said and Satya made a face, “and Satya of course.”

“Thank you.” Satya bit into her sweet bread and straightened her back as Sombra and McCree laughed just a bit. It was true though, Satya had only been there because her parents were worried she wasn’t getting enough out door time, or socialization, that’s what they’d been told when she was dropped off there at sixteen. She’d wound up spending the next summer there by choice and now she helped out and came by to teach kids computer classes here or there.

They took another shot together after that, Sombra saying something about celebrating the ranch. People were starting to wind down, sitting around the graveyard, eating and telling stories. Sombra got into one about Gabe threatening to shave the rest of her head if she didn’t tie her hair back while they were on the horses. She tended to get a face full of hair and nearly fall off if she didn’t.

McCree and Sombra started to swap stories, and at some point Satya tugged a small rubix cube out of her bag, nodding to ensure that everyone knew she was listening as she solved the puzzle, scrambled it and started to do it again. Hanzo seemed really impressed with it, and Satya wound up showing him the basics of how to solve one. After a while, the sun was set and the people were either settling in to stay the night or heading out depending on what they did.

Sombra lit a tall saint’s candle and set it with the other things on top of Gabe’s grave stone, the four of them still talking to the light of all the candles on graves around them. At some point, Sombra and Satya got up so Satya could collect a few leaves of trees she said she’d been looking for. McCree had to explain collecting dried leaves to Hanzo who seemed equally confused by it.

“Satya has a bunch ‘a’ collections,” McCree said, “lots of things from outside, leaves, flowers, rocks. She has some cool fossils.”

“I guess it is better to just let her to herself, right?” Hanzo asked. McCree felt like he wasn’t just talking about Satya, so he nudged Hanzo with his shoulder since they’d turned to face the sunset at some point.

“What was your family like? Y’know, your brother and stuff. If you don’t mind my asking.” McCree was looking at Hanzo now, but Hanzo was avoiding looking at him, taking a few bigger gulps of his beer. They were temporarily interrupted by Sombra asking to borrow Hanzo’s paints and brushes from earlier, which he handed over quickly.

Now they were watching Sombra very gently paint a skull on Satya’s wrist. Satya bristled a bit, but Sombra hummed soft words to her that were seeming to keep her calm enough that Satya could put up with it. It sounded a bit like Satya had felt just a little bit left out and was forcing herself, McCree wasn’t worried about it though, he was more worried about Hanzo, and Sombra always helped Satya keep calm in situations she wasn’t entirely comfortable in.

“My brother was a good kid,” Hanzo said, “a little wild, but he was good. He had a very big heart.”

McCree turned to him, thinking about what Hanzo had said the night before about his brother not making it out of his family. He frowned, just a bit, and wondered exactly what he had meant. “When did you see him last?”

“It was,” Hanzo swallowed hard, enough that McCree could see it. Hanzo shook his head a bit, and McCree realized what was coming on. He got up and followed Hanzo as he skirted his way out of the small crowd of people around the gravestones. Hanzo was shaking, but he wasn’t crying or anything, so McCree thought maybe Hanzo had managed to cut it off quickly enough.

“What do you need?” McCree asked as he got up closer, his hand naturally finding its way to the small of Hanzo’s back, making sure that Hanzo knew he was there. Hanzo looked up at him, brows knitted and his eyes dark in a way McCree had never seen them.

“To wash my hands,” Hanzo said, his fingers twitching slightly and he carefully started to rub one hand with the other. McCree nodded, that was easy enough, taking one of Hanzo’s hands so he couldn’t rub them raw, it sort of looked like he was trying to, and got him to the building at the center of the cemetery. He only let go of him when Hanzo slipped into the bathroom, figuring that he needed his privacy.

It took a bit, probably ten minutes, before Hanzo came out of the bathroom, his hands red from washing them, but McCree didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t know.”

Hanzo shook his head, “how could you have known? It is not your fault.”

“It’s gettin’ late,” McCree said, “let’s get the girls and get back to the ranch.”

“That might be good,” Hanzo said, “and more beer.”

McCree laughed, “we’re really not so different y’know?” Hanzo smiled just a tiny bit and nodded, confirming that he knew. McCree kept his distance until they were packed up again. There was a brief discussion about who was laying in the back of the truck, but Satya was too uncomfortable with it, so Hanzo offered them again. McCree didn’t mind at all, he just didn’t want Hanzo to feel sick or something if it got too bumpy and as they laid back, Sombra pulling out of the cemetery parking lot, McCree felt Hanzo scoot just a little bit closer to him. Hanzo’s hand bumped the back of McCree’s, so McCree took the chance and threaded their fingers together.

Hanzo had one arm folded over his eyes, his hand turned up towards the sky. He stared a moment, because he knew that Hanzo couldn’t see and took a deep breath, trying to reconcile everything. Why had Hanzo been so willing to come here with him? They’d gotten close, much closer than they had been when McCree had invited him, but now McCree was getting almost, hopeful. That might be a terrible idea, but at the very least, it was worth a shot. Right?

Gabe had always told him to go with his gut on things. This was probably the situation where it mattered the most. McCree looked away from Hanzo, closing his eyes and tightening his grip on Hanzo’s hand.


	6. Chapter 6

When they got back, Hanzo slipped his fingers from McCree’s hand gently and repeated his mantra in his head one last time. He sat up, feeling more grounded than he had been at the cemetery, but he did sort of want to get plastered and stop thinking about his brother. McCree seemed to be on the same page, because the moment they were inside, he was handing Hanzo a cold bottle of beer from the fridge.

They sat down on the couch together, not unlike they had whenever they were at McCree’s apartment back in New York. Now though, New York felt like years ago, Hanzo felt a lot more attached to McCree than he had before, and he was wondering if that was maybe a bad thing. It wasn’t really fair to drag McCree in on Hanzo’s emotional turmoil, at the same time, McCree seemed willing.

He was happy to be there with all of them, having Sombra and Satya around softened things. Sombra returned his brushes to him, perfectly clean and taken care of, so he slipped them into his laptop bag, pausing a bit there. He was tempted to pull out his tablet, hiding behind work for a bit sounded like it would be just enough for him to completely calm down. Hanzo glanced at McCree and quickly forgot it, instead sitting closer to him than he had before.

Ana and Jack joined them, mid-conversation about something going on with the ranch, or the next group of kids that were going to be there. Jack was worried about one, Ana worried about another, they sounded more and more like caring parents the more they talked about the children they took care of on the ranch, and Hanzo was reminded of the childhood he’d never really gotten to have. He was happy that McCree had been around these people when he needed it most, because Hanzo would have killed for people like this in his family.

“Are you liking it here?” Ana asked as she sat next to Hanzo on the couch, a smile on her face that was warm. It was like she knew that Hanzo was troubled. They were all obviously good at this, he was starting to realize why McCree was so good at it. He’d seen McCree get quiet and ask plenty of girls if they were okay while he was serving them a drink. Often, the girls started crying on him, but McCree listened and somehow made them feel better. When Hanzo thought about it, it really wasn’t that different from the way McCree often treated him.

“Yes, quite a bit,” Hanzo said. McCree was having a conversation with Jack now, and it felt like that might have been on purpose. Ana had a beer in her hand, sipping on it gently.

“Good, I’m glad, I know that spending a day in a cemetery can be quite a bit for people,” Ana said, “they always get you thinking.”

“I understand,” Hanzo said, “it was not too bad. There were a lot of people around. A lot of distractions.” He wasn’t sure what else to say, and Ana just hummed.

I’m glad you were there then,” Ana said, “it’s good to see Jesse spending time with someone who has their head on straight.”

Hanzo smiled, “ thank you. It is nice to have someone in New York who does not mind my accent.” It was the best he could do right now, but he was catching on that if he was goofy with Ana she’d appreciate it.

She laughed, which Hanzo was proud of and as she straightened herself up to take another drink, she muttered, “it is not like McCree could ever judge anyone else for their accent.” Hanzo chuckled and agreed, McCree turning and giving them a look, but they both acted innocent so he’d turn away again.

Ana sipped her beer and smiled, “either way, take good care of my boy, all right?” She patted Hanzo’s shoulder and he just stared, feeling his face get hot as she finished her bottle and gto up to get another one. He decided that was something he’d clear up with her later, because McCree was dragging him into the conversation with Jack, which was fine, because now he didn’t have to think about what Ana had just said.

It wasn’t long before it was just Hanzo, Jack, and McCree sitting in the living room, drinking beer slowly and talking. Hanzo was mostly in and out of the conversation, nowhere left to hide from his own thoughts. With McCree sitting next to him it felt nice, the same way having McCree hold onto him in the cemetery had been, no matter how brief it felt, Hanzo was still burning where McCree’s hands had been. It had been years since he’d been that person in the room with Genji and their uncles, maybe moving on was the right thing to do now.

Hanzo felt like he’d need to tell McCree what happened at some point. He could hear the therapist in his head telling him that he didn’t need to be alone and was quietly cursing everyone at his old job who’d encouraged him to go. Because now he had a voice in his head telling him it was okay to date the cowboy. The cowboy.

“You okay there? You’ve been awfully quiet.” McCree’s voice snapped Hanzo back to the real world, Jack was gone, Hanzo hadn’t even noticed him leave.

“Ah, yes, sorry,” Hanzo said quickly, “something Ana said just had me thinking.”

“‘Bout what?” McCree looked genuinely curious, and Hanzo realized his honesty had landed him in an awkward position. About how McCree is often there for him when he needs it most or how his skin still tingles from where McCree touches him or how his smooth voice calmed Hanzo down or how McCree asked him things like “what do you need?” when he was having a panic attack.

“Just about the cemetery,” Hanzo said. There was a twinge in him that made him feel as though he should be more honest about it. McCree just hummed, pressing the beer bottle against his lips.

“Mind if I ask,” McCree seemed hesitant, “why you needed to wash your hands?”

Hanzo blinked, looked down at his open palm and the hand that was gripping an empty bottle of beer. The flash of red, dripping blood, he shook his head hard and looked back at McCree. “I am not certain, but it makes the blood go away.”

McCree’s head turned fast, but Hanzo was already out of his seat. He tossed the bottle into the bin, letting the clank of bottles cover up whatever McCree was saying to him. Hanzo was on his way up the stairs, swallowing the thick knot in his throat. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever told anyone anything that close to the truth about his panic attacks. Not even the therapist he’d spent months learning to trust.

“Hanzo wait.” McCree was on his tail. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up like that.”

Hanzo was glad there was no one else in this part of the house. McCree wasn’t exactly the quietest when he’d been drinking a while. Pausing in their room, Hanzo took a deep breath, the flash of red starting to overwhelm him again, but McCree, sweet McCree, grabbed his hand and tugged him to turn him around. It was just enough of a distraction to pull the panic away for now. It was replaced; however, with a very different kind of panic when he felt McCree’s arms go around his shoulders.

McCree pulled Hanzo into his chest, Hanzo barely managed to move his head so he smack his nose on McCree’s collar bone. It was clumsy, and reminded him distinctly of McCree, but there was something so soft about it that Hanzo felt undeserving. He had gone so stiff at just being touched, it took him a good, long moment for him to realize and loosen up.

“Listen,” McCree said, Hanzo was still too startled to shrink away, “I don’t know why you think your brother’s death was on your hands, and I don’t care. But Hanzo you can’t keep letting it eat you alive.”

“I know.” Hanzo looked down at McCree’s shoulder, it was all he could think to do, his arms carefully going around McCree’s back, his hands clinging to McCree’s shirt. He felt McCree swallow, Hanzo’s head was pressed against McCree’s neck.

“I know what it’s like.” McCree’s voice was low, “thinkin’ something like that was your fault. There was a boy, little bit younger than me when I was with the Deadlocks, he followed me around like a lost puppy, he was like a brother. He didn’t make it out of that bar brawl that got me arrested. Watching him die, that was why I called the police.”

Hanzo’s voice was caught in throat. He wanted to say something, but he just really didn’t know what he could say. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” He couldn’t tell the story about Genji. McCree would never want to hear from him again.

“I worked through it.” McCree pulled back enough to cup Hanzo’s face in his hands. They were gentle and it took Hanzo everything not to press into one, to hide in the softness that McCree was trying to offer him. The kindness Hanzo probably didn’t really deserve. “I did the same things you did, I saw the blood on my hands. I want to be there for you when you’re dealing with that Han.”

Hanzo looked up, McCree’s eyes were intense and more serious than Hanzo had ever seen them. “You are very kind, but―”

“No Hanzo, I want to be there for you when you need me.” McCree had a look on his face that Hanzo didn’t recognize now, there was something more to his words, Hanzo could feel it. Hanzo’s hand was stinging, not from the panic attack, but because McCree had been holding onto it earlier, because McCree had held onto him and tried to make him feel better and Hanzo knew why.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to be.” Hanzo felt his ribs caving in, the look on McCree’s face was the cause, he wanted an answer, he looked almost angry. “I do not know if I deserve it.” His hands found McCree’s forearms, his thumb gently rubbing over the tattoo on his left arm. Hanzo didn’t realize he was looking at it until McCree turned his head to get him to look up again. His expression was soft, exhausted, but sweet and kind like he always imagined McCree in his head.

“What do you need Hanzo?” McCree drew their faces a bit closer together, Hanzo was holding his breath, “What do you need to know that you deserve it?” McCree pressed a kiss on Hanzo, it was warm and Hanzo could taste the beer on his lips, McCree’s hands slipped off his face, Hanzo let him go in favor of planting his hands flat on McCree’s chest. Neither of them made a move to make it deeper, instead McCree’s hands landed at his hips, holding him there firmly as he pulled away.

Hanzo wanted to say, ‘you’, he wanted McCree to know that he wanted him, but his head got ahead of him and, “time, space,” came out of his mouth. McCree stuck close, bumping their noses together gently, still holding Hanzo.

“Okay,” McCree mumbled, “I can respect your boundaries. Promise.”

Hanzo wasn’t sure why he was surprised McCree took that so maturely. Maybe it was that he normally unabashedly flirted with Hanzo no matter how mean Hanzo’s bantering got. He hadn’t thought about it, but maybe it was just because McCree was aware that Hanzo enjoyed it, McCree was probably quick enough to have seen any of those hidden smiles on Hanzo’s face. It wasn’t that surprising the more he thought about it.

“Bed,” Hanzo said, but not without planting a tentative peck on McCree’s lips, because he knew it’d earn him a smile. McCree nodded, the two of them not even really bothering to do more than remove uncomfortable clothing items. Hanzo climbed into bed in his shirt and boxers, McCree followed in just his boxers, laying next to him quietly.

“Can I do somethin’ that might break your boundaries a lil’? Promise I’ll stop if ya’ want me to.” McCree’s voice had a certain amount of humor to it that Hanzo knew he would stop if he made it clear he didn’t want whatever McCree was about to do. Instead, Hanzo just wanted to point out McCree’s hypocracy.

“It has not even been five minutes since you―” Hanzo stopped, feeling a distinct heat growing across his nose when he felt McCree’s arms go around him. McCree wrapped him up, his arms tight and his nose pressing against the soft, short hair on the back of Hanzo’s head. His legs went around one of Hanzo’s, effectively trapping him against McCree’s chest, his back tingly like his hand had in the truck.

“Want me to let go?” McCree’s voice was cocky, but Hanzo go quick in favor of getting affection he hadn’t gotten in a very long time.

“No,” Hanzo mumbled, “this is fine.”

–

McCree woke to Hanzo being gone again. He sighed, turning over to press his face into the pillow facing the bathroom, catching the shuffling behind the door and quickly locating the other man. It was obvious he had some thing about showering as soon as he got up, or maybe it was that he was avoiding changing in a spot McCree could see. He wasn’t really sure. He wasn’t going to let it bother him, standing up and going to his bag, changing his boxers first so Hanzo wouldn’t walk in on him completely naked. He took a deep breath, trying to reign himself in and remind himself of what he’d talked about with Hanzo the night before, tugging on a t-shirt and jeans because he wanted to be comfortable while he navigated trying to give Hanzo the space he needed without somehow losing him entirely or scaring him off.

McCree was shoving his deodorant back into his bag when Hanzo opened the door of the bathroom, his shoulders hunched up awkwardly, but that wasn’t what caught McCree’s attention. His eyes slid up Hanzo’s left arm, taking in the full sleeve, the dragon coiling around it, the clouds, the lightning. He didn’t even register he was staring until he was looking at the sleeve of Hanzo’s tight shirt, which just made his arms look more shapely than McCree had ever imagined them. Sure, the button-ups hung on Hanzo nicely, but they definitely concealed all this and the muscle he had from archery.

“The forecast said it would be over one hundred degrees,” Hanzo muttered. McCree shook his head and stood, still in a state of shock as he took a step towards Hanzo, who looked decidedly terrified. McCree just smiled, holding his Deadlock tattoo up next to Hanzo’s, because if McCree had learned anything from being in the Deadlocks, it was that men with tattoos like Hanzo’s were Yakuza. He also knew that Hanzo wasn’t anymore, even if he had been.

“We’re more alike than I thought,” he said. Hanzo’s brow furrowed and he looked down at their arms. “Y’know, havin’ a tattoo on our left arm?” McCree hoped it registered with Hanzo, and when Hanzo looked up at him, he caught a flash of relief. Maybe if Hanzo knew that McCree understood that the past was the past, it would help him open up more, it was all McCree could ask for.

“So it seems,” Hanzo said, “although, there’s a bit of difference in the craftsmanship.”

McCree gawked and then looked down at his tattoo, “excuse me, this was done in the basement of a drug den after they gave me a bottle whiskey for the pain.” He looked at Hanzo’s and pulled his arm back a bit again, Hanzo was already chuckling, totally pleased with himself.

“I was not allowed painkillers,” Hanzo said, “or alcohol.” McCree chuckled, grabbing his hat as he gathered up his phone, shoving it into his pocket.

“You’re a stronger man than I, that’s for sure,” McCree smirked and picked up Peacekeeper, strapping a holster to his hip and sliding the revolver in with one, slick movement. He could see Hanzo watching. “Want to see who’s a better shot?”

That got Hanzo looking devious, and McCree was more than happy to see him snap into his normal self again. He watched Hanzo tug a zipper on his bag, the bow popping up the moment it was free. It sort of seemed like the suitcase had been made to hold it, Hanzo sliding it out easily with a quiver held floating in the center of the bow. His hands moved easily, sliding the quiver over his shoulder and letting it hang as he held the bow at his side.

“I assure you, you will be disappointed,” he said. McCree couldn’t help but laugh, following Hanzo out of the bedroom into the fairly dark hallway. They’d gotten up before everyone again, the whole house quiet as they rustled up something to eat in the kitchen. Just bagels, going easy as McCree tried his hardest not to stare at the tattoo on Hanzo’s arm. It was just so goddamn pretty, and even if in the past McCree would have normally run from Hanzo on sight if he’d seen him on the street, he knew Hanzo. He knew that Hanzo wouldn’t hurt him.

McCree led Hanzo out into the heat, walking down to the range they had set up beyond the barn. There was a sloping hill behind it, Gabe had told him once that his grandfather had dumped all the dirt from under the main house there to make it. Beyond that were the pastures the cattle grazed on, a single pon in the middle they kept filled with water to keep the cattle from going too far or spreading out too much. The fence that Gabe made McCree build the first summer he was on the ranch didn’t do much but fulfill legal purposes.

“How are we going to measure a bow against a gun?” Hanzo asked. He was standing at the wood boxes set up across the range from the targets. Hanzo set his quiver down on it, and McCree didn’t blame him, there was a already sweat outlined on the back of Hanzo’s t-shirt where the quiver had been touching his back.

“Easy, target shooting and then trick shots,” McCree said, “you can still compare a bullet hole to where an arrow landed, right?”

Hanzo hummed softly, “that seems fair.” He was looking out at the big bags with targets painted on them, shot up from years of teaching the older kids archery or how to shoot properly for those like McCree who had to be wary of critters when he was out with the cattle. McCree had come pre-trained in that department though, of course, he would never have gotten better if Ana hadn’t gotten ahold of him.

“So, sink one in all four centers of that one, and I’ll take the one with less holes so we can tell ‘em apart easier.” McCree lit a cigarette, putting it between his lips as Hanzo gave him a look.

“Is the cigarette necessary for you to shoot well?” Hanzo picked up his bow, McCree’s eyes on his arms as he pulled a glove from the quiver so he could practice pulling back the string a few times. He did it so well, McCree couldn’t believe that he needed to practice at all. Then again, he got the feeling that was why he might actually be in trouble in this little contest.

“Absolutely,” McCree smirked, “five shots, five bullseye, just watch.” He blew a puff of smoke away from Hanzo and loaded Peacekeeper. McCree didn’t even hold the gun with both hands, holding it out and taking five quick shots, sending the sixth in the revolver into the hill behind the bag, the bullet skidding over the bag.

Hanzo looked unimpressed, sliding an arrow out of the quiver on the box in front of him and hooking it into the bow string. He sunk the shot dead center on the middle target, reloading fast to take another shot and sinking it in the upper left, then the right, doing the bottom two just as easily. The motions were all so smooth McCree could hardly tell what was happening.

“Shit,” McCree muttered. Hanzo just chuckled and set his bow down, so McCree set down his gun.

“You should not be so cocky.” Hanzo followed McCree out onto the range, heading to the bags so they could both stare at them. Hanzo’s were certainly more dead center than McCree’s, but the holes were all warped because of the hollow rounds.

“I’d say inconclusive.” Hanzo said. McCree crossed his arms as Hanzo carefully tugged arrows from his target.

“Okay, but I have a few more tricks up my sleeve before I let this go,” McCree said as they walked back to the boxes, picking up Peacekeeper, “For example.”

McCree tugged a quarter from his pocket, flicking it in the air with ease, and hitting it mid-air. At least, he knew he hit it, Hanzo looked skeptical until the coin landed on the ground and her scooped it up. It had quite the hole in it, and Hanzo hummed his approval before he tossed it back in the air.

Hanzo shot at the target again, and glanced at McCree, “mind getting that for me?”

“Let me guess, the quarter is on the tip of the arrow?” McCree asked, wandering down the range, tipping his hat back as he went. He didn’t see Hanzo raise his bow again, but he felt his hat fly off in a swift wind, the second arrow hitting just the top of the target since McCree was almost taller than it. “Awe heck, my hat.”

Laughing, Hanzo followed him down the range, McCree tugging his precious cowboy hat from the target, the arrow had only put a hole in the upcurve on the right side. Hanzo had caught the brim on purpose when McCree had pushed it up. McCree just huffed, taking the hat back when Hanzo had retrieved his arrow, looking proud of himself. Honestly, McCree was sort of impressed.

“Rude,” McCree said, taking the hat back from Hanzo. “Betcha’ couldn’t do that with a gun anyway. Like comparing apples to oranges.”

“I have shot a gun before,” Hanzo said. His voice was cocky in that way that McCree really liked. “If you gave me time I could figure it out.”

“I don’t think wastin’ a year’s worth of bullets is worth you makin’ a point.” McCree smirked at Hanzo who just glowered back at him, drawing another arrow back and letting it fly. He seemed to be antsy with the bow in his hands when he wasn’t actually firing it. “Did you ever do competitions when you were younger?”

Hanzo shook his head, his lips pressed into a hard line before he quietly muttered, “I might have if I had gone to high school, but I was taught at home by a tutor.”

McCree stared a moment, turning back towards the targets as Hanzo shot the target again, sinking the arrow further liked he’d drawn it back enough that there was far more force behind it. “I never finished high school, what with the gang and all.”

“I was not permitted to go,” Hanzo said. McCree wondered if he’d caught on to the fact that McCree wanted to ask about it. Maybe it was just that Hanzo was being more open with him. “I was able to go to college, but only for a year or so before I left Japan.”

“Why did you leave exactly?” McCree shot the gun, Hanzo had sunk two more arrows into the target.

“My brother was killed,” Hanzo said. His voice was still low, but for once he wasn’t having a total break down at the mention of his brother. McCree could see the way he tightened up on his bow, shooting another arrow, and all he could think about was the way that Hanzo had worded it. His brother was killed, not died.

“What happened?” McCree couldn’t help the question, it fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. Hanzo made a noise, looking up at McCree and shook his head, walking down the range to get his arrows. “Sorry,” he called after him, because it was all he could think to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Hanzo took a deep breath as he walked. He could hear McCree still, so that was a good sign, his head wasn’t locking up too much. His therapist’s voice was in his head, a humming about breathing in and out as he walked. The arrows came out of the target easy, and by the time he was back by the boxes, McCree was suggesting the go in for lunch.

McCree was so kind to him. Hanzo took the offer, letting the conversation drop because it was better than trying to handle it in that moment. He looked down at his tattoo as he walked, following close to McCree who seemed a bit tense. It would shake off soon, the two of them always bounced back to the way they normally were, because McCree was his friend, McCree cared even if Hanzo had put distance between them the night before.

“Ah, I think more people showed up.” McCree’s voice was low, but enough for Hanzo to look up at the group of two young men and a young woman greeting Satya and Sombra. They were all smiling, and Hanzo felt the beat of anxiety rush through him. “We can go around if ya’ like.”

Hanzo bit his lip and shook his head. “No, it’s fine.” His pride had him more than a little trapped, not wanting to look weak had forced him into bad situations before, but he never could have imagined the feeling of his heart stopping in the wake of these three people who had shown up at the ranch.

A young monk, Buddhist, from the dots on his head, a woman with clear pale skin, and a Japanese boy with a young face. No, Hanzo corrected himself, that boy was a man, his hair thick and black, not unlike Hanzo’s, but it was cropped much shorter. The woman was laughing, turning to McCree and waving, now Hanzo couldn’t hear anything, because all he wanted was to run in the other direction.

Genji turned with her, his eyes seemed to lock on Hanzo, but Hanzo’s head was already gone, he was seeing red, the scar across Genji’s cheek was the last thing Hanzo saw before he’d completely blacked out.

There were voices in the distance when Hanzo woke up. They were hushed enough that he couldn’t catch them, but he didn’t really want to either. His bow was carefully leaned against the corner, a glass of water on the table next to him, and two pills that, upon closer examination were Asprin. Hanzo welcomed that, taking them and downing most of the water, but he didn’t want to go downstairs, he couldn’t even imagine what Genji had told McCree.

Hanzo was shaking again, throwing the blankets off him and picking up his bow, the quiver going over his head quickly. He didn’t think about it, his body was on auto-pilot. It had grown darker since he’d knocked out, but it was from cloud cover, it was still enough to get out without anyone noticing. There was no one in the house that he could face at that moment, and as he slipped through the window and down the drain pipe. It was when he hit the ground that he heard McCree’s voice from the open window, Hanzo turned tail and made for the stables.

When he got there, he poked around until he found the saddle McCree had put on Jim, his hands shaking more and more as he worked. It wasn’t difficult, but he felt like someone was watching him. There wasn’t much time, and as his panic grew, his senses of what was around him dropped, so he hadn’t noticed Jack until he was standing back up and strapping his quiver down to the saddle.

“Goin’ for a ride?” Jack’s voice was even. It still made Hanzo jump and when he turned around, Jack was dirty from head to toe, his hands on the reins of his brown horse who he was leading back into the stable.

“Ah, um.” Hanzo couldn’t really speak, holding onto Jim’s reins and playing with the soft leather to try and distract himself.

“If ya’ are, you should take a lamp,” Jack said. He walked over to the shelf, taking down a swinging lantern with an LED light in it. Jack flipped it on to see if it worked, then handed it to Hanzo who nearly dropped it. “Be careful.”

“Yes.” Hanzo got on Jim, it was better than facing Jack’s scars and gruff tone. By the time he was out of the stables the sun was completely gone, so he turned the lamp forward and went faster than he probably should be in the rain. He could feel Jack’s eyes on his back. He just had to get away, so he cut up towards the red rocks that he and McCree had been in a few days ago.

He didn’t go up, choosing to follow a trail heading off to the West of where they’d been previously. Hanzo just hoped it gave him a bit more time, petting the back of Jim’s head as the rain came down on them. It wasn’t so bad, and by the time he found a place where Jim could graze and Hanzo had a nice thicket of trees and some small bushes around him.

This wasn’t his usual way of hiding, Hanzo was used to being in the city, there were countless places he could have gone there, but mostly he wished he was home. He settled his quiver next to a tree, making a target on another with an arrow head and a leaf. Once he’d done that, he got into his routine, shooting the leaf as many times as he could, taking the arrows, stepping further back and starting over.

Jim didn’t pay him any mind, happy to graze and relax. Hanzo was out of it, his fingers drawing back the bow until his shoulders ached, his concept of time coming down to how well he could see the leaf from nearly fifty feet back. The desert was starting to come down around him, not noticing the pain in his back or arms.

“Hanzo.” McCree’s voice cracked as he spoke, and in less than a second everything around him was caving in. Hanzo was hyper aware of the sweat and rain on his face, dripping down just enough to probably hide the tears if he was lucky. He swept his arm over his face, starting to come to since he’d blacked out earlier, the sun was getting low in the sky, the rain had stopped, and McCree was standing just a jog away from Hanzo down the range Hanzo had made. The arrow he’d drawn was now sunk in the ground somewhere beyond McCree, who was taking the most careful steps towards Hanzo. “Han, your hand is bleeding,” McCree said once he was much closer, “come ‘ere.”

His bow fell, making a noise like spring as it vibrated against the dust. McCree had his hand before Hanzo got a good look at the blood, wiping the blood away with a handkerchief. It was too late, his attention had been drawn to it, so he was jerking back to puke behind a bush before McCree had even finished cleaning Hanzo’s hand, meanwhile, more was pooling and he could feel it. His fingers were totally raw. McCree didn’t seem disturbed at all, taking Hanzo’s hand while Hanzo dry heaved and wrapped the handkerchief around Hanzo’s hand completely. Hanzo sat back on his knees and rubbed his face again, McCree squatting next to him and being careful not to touch him.

“I am sorry.” Hanzo removed his hand from his face to find McCree holding out a canteen. He was beyond thankful, sipping from it to rinse out his mouth before drinking a little bit. It was the first water he’d had since riding out into the desert, and Hanzo was only understanding what he’d done as he sat there with McCree, while McCree carefully looked him over for more wounds.

“No need to be sorry,” McCree said, “gave me quite a scare climbing out the window like that, though. If hadn’t been impressed I might’ve been sorta pissed off.”Hanzo glanced at McCree, his tone was light, but there was worry in his face and eyes. McCree held out the canteen to him, over his hands now and carefully untied the handkerchief.

“Here, wash your hands,” McCree said, pouring a bit of the water onto them. Hanzo carefully rinsed them off, realizing what McCree was doing so he started repeating the mantra in his head as he often did. When McCree pulled the canteen away and resealed it, he opened up the first aid kit he had with him, quickly bandaging up all of Hanzo’s raw skin while Hanzo just tried to keep repeating that he was not the one who killed his brother in his head. His brother wasn’t even dead. “I’m going to head back in, but I brought food for you and Jim, and a tent. Do you want to stay here?”

Hanzo swallowed, he wasn’t honestly sure.

“Do you want to tell me anything about what’s going on?” McCree asked. Hanzo felt his stomach pit out. He didn’t want to know what Genji had told McCree already, that thought made his stomach sink.

“It is,” he mumbled, “a story that you should ask Genji about. He will probably tell it more accurately.”

“Maybe I don’t want to hear it from Genji,” McCree said. Hanzo stared at the ground listless, there wasn’t a lot he could say to dissuade McCree. He learned that a early in their friendship.

“My side of the story will be biased.” Hanzo shifted slightly, he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and he tried to turn away from McCree so he couldn’t see.

“Everyone is selfish like that,” McCree said, “it’s okay.”

“I cannot let myself be selfish, it is unfair to you,” Hanzo said and took a deep breath, “It is a story that will make me look very bad, I don’t want to tell you.” He didn’t want to lose McCree. It wasn’t what he was saying, but Hanzo was starting to realize himself that it was what he meant. He needed McCree more than anyone he’d ever met in his life, and now that his brother was here, McCree was going to know all of Hanzo’s dirty past. He might already know.

“How would that be unfair to me?” McCree asked.

Hanzo pressed a hand over his mouth, feeling like he might throw up again for a moment, but he shook that off quick, making himself start to feel numb. There was no way he could tell McCree that he was a criminal. He tamped down everything as fast he could and stood up, turning back towards Jim because he just didn’t know where else to go and the horse was at least some kind of comfort.

“If you’re gonna run off again, maybe tell me which direction you’re goin’ in at least?” McCree’s voice was thick like he had something in his throat, following close behind Hanzo as he made his way for Jim. “Please Han, who’re you even runnin’ from? Is it me?”

Hanzo stopped dead in his tracks, swallowing hard as he shook his head. “It is not you, Jesse.” He could hear Jesse shuffling behind him, awkwardly, and then Hanzo heard him get closer again.

“Stay here, okay? I’m going to leave, takin’ this with me though.” Jesse held up Hanzo’s bow, but Hanzo quickly lunged for it, Jesse jumping as Hanzo caught himself and pulled it away gentler than he grabbed it.

“T-Take the arrows please, just not this,” Hanzo said. He was holding onto it tightly now, bringing the bow into his chest as if he were hugging it.

“Okay,” Jesse said, pulling an arrow out of the ground near them, “I put the tent and everything else on Jim in packs. Please, sleep in the tent, it gets cold out here.”

Hanzo nodded, still clinging to his bow as Jesse wandered over to the tree that had the other arrows in it. He pulled them out one by one, going slow to the point Hanzo thought he might be stalling. But then he walked over to Johnny, stepping up and settling himself in the saddle. Hanzo could feel the acid in his stomach, watching Jesse adjust his hat and look him over.

“Han.” Jesse’s voice was low, “are you sure you don’t want to be selfish?”

Hanzo stared, his mouth open as Jesse looked him over. But he closed his mouth, his hands tightening around the bow as he looked away from Jesse. He couldn’t look at his face, because deep in his chest Hanzo knew this is what he deserved and he knew that he shouldn’t be selfish like that and he knew that Jesse deserved more than him. If Hanzo lost himself to the desert, Hanzo was starting to think that it might be better.

As Jesse rode off towards the ranch again, Hanzo couldn’t help but hear his words over and over again. Hanzo gritted his teeth, walking over to Jim and in his haze of dehydration, he set his hand on the horse’s nose and started to speak to him.

“I want to be selfish.” Hanzo let his head get pushed over as Jim’s nose rested against Hanzo’s temple gently. He was leaning on Jim, thinking back over the last few days on the ranch, his hand on his bow getting tighter, and tighter until he was stepping up to get on Jim, the extra saddle bags throwing him off a bit, but he fastened down his bow and turned Jim to follow Jesse.

He took off full speed, hoping to catch up before Jesse got back to the ranch, Jim easily following Hanzo’s lead as they barrelled down the trail. Hanzo was so focused on getting back to the ranch, he almost didn’t notice Johnny’s head pop up from behind a bush about a half mile from where Hanzo had been, but he did see it. He turned back, he stopped Jim and followed a trail that was really only half there until he found Jesse, sitting against a tree with of all things a guitar in his hands.

Jesse was wild eyed when Hanzo stepped off Jim, the horse not having really stopped yet as Hanzo stumbled to make his way to Jesse. “You stayed?”

“I, um, yeah I was worried about ya’.” Jesse shifted to sit up a bit, “is that okay?” He barely managed to scramble to his feet and get the guitar into its case before Hanzo fell into his arms, Jesse struggling to not drop Hanzo in the weird position Hanzo had put him in. Hanzo wound up in Jesse’s chest, his forehead pressed into him hard and his arms around Jesse’s neck. He was tired and probably sunburnt, his grip on Jesse tight and desperate, but Jesse just hugged him back, his hat falling off easily as if he’d been prepared for this.

“I’m sorry, Jesse,” Hanzo said, “I want to be selfish, I want to tell you my side of the story, even if it is unfair. Even if it will make you biased towards me, that is what I want.”

Jesse settled his hand on the back of Hanzo’s head, just holding onto him. His lips settled against Hanzo’s hair, letting Hanzo shift to press into his shoulder. “Han, I would have been biased towards you no matter who told me the story first.”

“I know, but Jesse, I–” Hanzo’s voice ran out when Jesse planted a sweet kiss on his head, he ran his hand over the back of Hanzo’s soft hair and shushed him gently.

“It’s okay, take a breather, then start.” Jesse smiled and held Hanzo in his arms. “I’m ready to listen whenever you’re ready.”


	8. Chapter 8

They had managed to sit down against the tree McCree had been leaning on before, Hanzo still mostly in McCree’s lap, but now Hanzo was laying with his head on McCree’s chest so he wouldn’t have to be making eye contact with him while he told the story. McCree didn’t really mind, he got to wrap his arms around Hanzo’s middle and carefully pet his hair. There wasn’t much Hanzo could tell him that would change McCree’s opinion anyway, that was decided before Hanzo even started.

Hanzo was looking over his tattoo slowly, and he tipped his head to look up at McCree as he started, “my family, my entire family was Yakuza. My father was the leader.” He went on for a bit, talking about a lot of things McCree didn’t really understand, eldest sons, branch families, complicated gang relations, which were probably the only thing McCree did understand, but mostly, Hanzo harped on his uncles.

“My grandparents had four boys, my father was the eldest, and I was his eldest. I grew up knowing I would have to take over the family business. But my father died young, I am, still unsure if it was a natural death,” Hanzo said. McCree could feel the way he shivered, so he held onto Hanzo just a little bit tighter, trying to ground him as much as he could. “But the moment he died, the whole clan was thrown on me, and it was not long after that my uncles preyed on Genji and I.”  
“How old were you?” McCree asked slowly, he got the feeling it was not going to be an answer that McCree liked, but he also thought it was important.

“I was twenty, Genji was only seventeen.” Hanzo shifted, “that, it does not really forgive what happened.”

“What happened?” McCree ran his hand up and down Hanzo’s arm.

“My uncles gathered me and told me to take my ceremonial bow with, they told me there was a duty I had to perform that my father would normally would have taken care of.” Hanzo’s hands twitched and he stopped himself for a moment. “I thought it was just another formality, I never could have imagined I was walking into my brother’s honor killing.”

McCree felt his heart stop dead. Honor killing meant that it had been planned, they had wanted to kill Genji, who despite everything that was currently going on in McCree’s life, had been one of McCree’s closest friends at the ranch. Gabe had treated him much like he’d treated Sombra and McCree, he could easily call Genji his younger brother.

It all clicked. The beating Genji had so obviously taken before he’d shown up at the ranch, the frantic way Angela had introduced him, the fact that Genji didn’t talk besides a few words to get food for the first few months he was on the ranch. The way he’d always shied away from McCree saying he was Genji’s older brother, Gabe calling himself his uncle, or Sombra saying she was his sibling. This all just made, more sense, if Genji had been through that, it wasn’t surprising that he’d gone mute and tried to hide from any familial ties they’d bring up. McCree didn’t blame Genji for never wanting to tell the, ‘my uncles tried to have my brother kill me’ story.

This was the half of the story that McCree had never gotten. All he’d known for years was that Genji was the son of a woman that had been in the same unit as Ana, Gabe, and Jack. He’d had very little contact with his mother at first because she was in hiding, but Hanzo hadn’t even mentioned her. Hanzo thought Genji had been dead, Genji never mentioned Hanzo to McCree, so how far did this go? Had all of them been living thinking that the others were dead?

Hanzo laughed, and it brought McCree back to reality, it was hoarse and terrible, but it was definitely a laugh. “They told me it was because they’d caught him sleeping around with men. I, I was terrified, faced with my own feelings, and worse I believed them. I didn’t see the way they were using it against me until after.”

“What do you mean?” McCree smoothed his hand over the back of Hanzo’s head, just cradling it a moment.

“They wanted the clan, they couldn’t care less about Genji and I.” Hanzo shifted again, this time actually looking up at McCree, his face wretched and twisted with guilt. “I didn’t see it, I shouldn’t have believed them for a moment, they didn’t care who Genji was sleeping with, all the cared about was the money and I was so terrified I shot at Genji when they told me to.”

Oh. McCree grew quiet. What could he even say to something like that? “It sounds like they manipulated you.” Hanzo’s guilt seemed to just get worse.

“I know,” Hanzo mumbled, “I’m, I understood the moment I let the arrow go, I’m lucky that it missed. I’m not sure if I slipped on purpose or not. But Genji, I thought the shock might have killed him he fell face first into the ground.”

“Then what happened?” McCree’s tone was careful. He didn’t want Hanzo to think that he was getting any sort of enjoyment out of this story at all. “How is Genji even alive?”

“My Uncle called me weak and pulled a gun on Genji.” Hanzo’s breathing was short, he looked away from McCree and down at his hands, but McCree grabbed his jaw and forced him to look. He’d caught on to that one. Hanzo didn’t seem to really mind, focusing in on McCree’s face and not moving his head even after McCree let him go. “So I shot him in the throat, and then I shot to the other two when they tried to get their guns.”

“Oh my God.” McCree looked Hanzo over slowly and he could see the way it made Hanzo’s skin crawl. He looked guilty and terrible, his eyes trained on the ground now so he wouldn’t have to look at McCree. McCree didn’t move him this time, he very quietly moved his hand to settle on Hanzo’s cheek, just holding onto him, Hanzo’s beard felt soft on his fingers. It was a long time before McCree even form any words in his mouth. “Hanzo, I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Hanzo didn’t look at him. “This is why I should not be the one to tell this story. I make myself sound like a victim,” Hanzo said. He sounded ashamed, his body scrunching in more however it could, even picking himself up so that he was touching McCree less.

“Hanzo, you are a victim in that story.” McCree’s shoulders stiffened, trying to wrap his head around whatever logic Hanzo was putting together that made him not a victim. Then again, McCree knew how guilt could twist someone into forgetting part of themself.

“I did not have to kill anyone, I shot at my own brother, if I had just known what they were doing--”

“They still would have taken Genji and probably killed both of you.” McCree felt Hanzo’s eyes come on him, but he kept still, he firmly believed that Hanzo had done nothing wrong, even if Hanzo wasn’t seeing it that way.

“I should have known they were coming for us.” Hanzo fell into McCree again, seeming to sink into his chest rather than pull in on himself this time. “I can’t go back to Hanamura, I, can’t believe, Genji is alive.”

“Your mother sent him here,” McCree said, “said he wasn’t safe in Hanamura anymore… I think I understand why now.”

“I’m surprised they did not go after her as well.” Hanzo settled into McCree more, so McCree wrapped his arms back around Hanzo’s middle. “But that explains how Genji found himself here.”

“You know, you two look alike, I thought I was just being stupid because you’re both Japanese,” McCree said slowly, “can I ask you something?”

The comment got Hanzo to laugh slightly at least, which at this point, McCree was going to take as a win. “Sure,” Hanzo said, he sounded anxious still, but McCree felt like the twinge in his voice was starting to fade.

“Have you ever told anyone this before?” McCree picked his hand up, carefully tugging out the tie in Hanzo’s hair since it was falling out anyway. Hanzo leaned into his hands as McCree carefully pulled Hanzo’s hair back up into a ponytail again and retied it.

“You are the only one.” Hanzo’s voice was quiet again. It was sort of hitting McCree now, just how much this whole thing must have been for him, of course, people died, McCree wasn’t stupid, he knew how much it had affected Hanzo. Now, all he could really be was happy that Hanzo had trusted him enough to tell him.

“Why am I the only one?” McCree asked, “why were you so determined to tell me if you’ve never told anyone before?”

Hanzo paused and sat up to look at McCree again. His eyes were lost for a second, and then he focused on a spot just under McCree’s face.

“Why did you want me on your side Hanzo?” McCree didn’t realize his voice had gotten stern until Hanzo twitched back from him, his face crumpling. There was an immediate moment of regret after the question had come out and McCree had seen Hanzo’s face. He didn’t mean to do that, he never wanted to do it again.

“I didn’t want to risk losing you too.” Hanzo’s voice was wrecked. McCree still felt guilty, but he cupped Hanzo’s face in his hands and pulled him in close for a kiss. Hanzo’s hand wrapped around his wrist, not pulling away, or trying to stop McCree, just holding onto him.

“Hanzo, you’re not going to lose me,” McCree said, “you were never going to lose me.”

He settled his hand on the back of Hanzo’s head, letting Hanzo sink into him for a moment. To McCree’s surprise though, Hanzo shifted, looking up to press a warm kiss on McCree back. He couldn’t help the way he melted into Hanzo, McCree had never seen, certainly never felt Hanzo be so soft.

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” Hanzo mumbled. He still wasn’t looking directly at McCree, but his hand moved from McCree’s wrist to his cheek. McCree frowned, bumping his nose against Hanzo’s to get him to look up.

“Let’s spend the night out here,” he said, “even if you’re feeling better, I don’t want you to shock your system again.” Hanzo nodded, but he folded into McCree’s chest, settling down on him so he couldn’t move. McCree made a face, he certainly didn’t mind, but if they were sleeping out there, they had things to do. “Han, we have to pitch a tent and stuff.”

“That is something we can do after I regain the use of my legs,” Hanzo said. McCree looked down at him, raising his eyebrows, so Hanzo just made a face, “I have not ridden a horse this much in years….”

McCree laughed and let Hanzo settle back into his chest, agreeing to a quick nap, which was probably for the better anyway. He kissed the top of Hanzo’s head, letting him relax, and even though Hanzo made McCree promise he’d wake him up in thirty minutes, McCree didn’t have the heart and only woke him up an hour later. Hanzo wouldn’t know the difference anyway.

\--

Jesse had become a distraction in a good way and as Hanzo held himself still against Jesse’s shoulder, staring at the fire as he sank into the comfort of the moment,he knew he had a lot to think about still. He was glad that Jesse had decided to follow him. Now though, he felt like he still needed time alone with his thoughts, and even if Jesse was being rather quiet, Hanzo still needed a moment where he wasn’t thinking about how soft Jesse had been with him, or how nice it felt to fall into his arms.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed.” Jesse’s voice was smooth, carefully shifting to stand up, but he didn’t go near the fire yet. “Do you wanna come with me, or are you good out here?”

“I will stay out here a while longer.” Hanzo looked up at Jesse briefly, taking in the careful look he was given. “I want to know what I’m going to say to Genji when we get back tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Jesse’s voice was gentle, his hand touching the back of Hanzo’s hair as he leaned down to place a kiss on Hanzo’s head. Hanzo was a little beyond smitten, smiling to himself as Jesse crawled into the tent behind him. Of course, this also left him distracted for a small amount of time, but his head found it’s way around thinking of a way to apologize to Genji. It was easier knowing that he was alive. It was easier to think of a way to apologize to Genji than it was to think of an apology for their mother, which was something he’d spent years thinking about.

He lost himself in those thoughts, staring at the fire so intently that he didn’t notice the light approaching until it was rather close. The lantern swung from someone’s hand, held up on horseback easily as they rode. Hanzo could see his shoulders dip and fall in the dark, and his best guess was that it was Jack, so he wasn’t terribly surprised when Jack brought the lantern to his face when he approached the campfire.

Jack stared at him for a long while. Hanzo shrunk ever so slightly, he felt like he was being sized up, but then Jack tied the horse near the others and sat down on the ground near Hanzo, just in front of the fire. He held out his hands, and Hanzo just sat quietly while Jack seemed to warm himself up.

“McCree is here right? In the tent? Ana sent me to check on the two of you since he hadn’t come back.” Jack’s eyes turned to Hanzo now, obviously examining him this time.

“Yes.” Hanzo was tense and trying not to act it. Probably failing as he normally would, but Jack seemed to soften when he told him Jesse was there with him. “He went to sleep, I’m not sure when, I could wake him.”

Jack shook his head. “No, nah that’s not necessary. I’m just, I was a little worried when I saw you here alone, but I guess there are two horses after all.” He looked at Hanzo like he wanted to say something for a moment before he opened his mouth again. “Are you alright? You looked like you’d seen a ghost, honestly, I was worried you were never going to come out of the desert.”

“I am better now. Not great, but better.” Hanzo paused, watching Jack nod. It was oddly easy to be honest with Jack, Hanzo wondered if it was something about his face. “If you thought I wouldn’t come back. Why would you let me leave?”

Jack seemed to get stiff a moment and he folded his hands between his legs, looking childish for someone who was so much older than Hanzo. “To be honest, I’ve known plenty of guys who came back after war that would get like that. Gabe especially, he’d get this wild look in his eyes and I’d know there wasn’t much I could do to stop him. McCree and Sombra though, just putting them in front of him was enough. I didn’t have something like that for you.”

“It seems like Jesse is good at that.” Hanzo kept his eyes on the fire until Jack laughed, then Hanzo was trying to find the reason why.

“Yeah he,” Jack paused, “he really is. I’m glad he grew up more like Gabe and less like me.”

Hanzo felt his throat go dry. His father had said something nearly the same to him once. Only his father had told him that Hanzo was more like he had been, and that was why Genji was allowed to play and he was forced to learn about their business on Sundays. “I think Jesse was lucky to have all three of you to learn from,” Hanzo said, “you came after the two of us after all.”

Jack looked him over, Hanzo could feel his eyes, but Hanzo kept his own on the fire, watching the flames lick the sticks. “I hope McCree sees it that way,” Jack said, “but I’m glad he’s obviously doing okay out in New York. He obviously found you after all.”

Hanzo felt his face burn, but he was just hoping that it was the fire making him feel like that. Jack stood up, rubbing his hands together briefly before he picked up the lantern again. He turned back to Hanzo, his hand running over the horse’s neck carefully as he did, “I hope you two figure it out at least. I’m gonna head back, you should get some sleep it’s past midnight and it’s only going to get colder out here.”

“I will.” Hanzo shifted on the ground while Jack climbed up on the horse, heading out slow, the same way he’d come. He watched Jack until the lantern was just a dot in the distance before he got up to scatter the fire. Once it was buried, he crawled into the tent with Jesse, his hands guiding him into the open spot on the sleeping bags they’d laid on top of each other.

“Hey there,” Jesse said. Hanzo jumped, but it probably wasn’t noticeable in the dark tent. “Sorry, hope I didn’t scare ya’. I couldn’t sleep.”

Hanzo softened, letting himself be pulled into Jesse as he had many times before. “It’s okay. Did you hear us?”

“Yeah.” Jesse’s voice was tight now, but as Hanzo nestled his cheek against Jesse’s, he could feel the smile on his face. Hanzo let his arm slide under Jesse’s head easily, giving Jesse the chance to press into Hanzo’s chest since it seemed to be what Jesse was working towards. As Hanzo’s cheek slid against Jesse’s beard and landed on his soft hair, he could feel Jesse wipe his damp eyes on Hanzo’s shirt. Hanzo wasn’t going to say anything about it.

“Are you alright?” He slid a hand down the back of Jesse’s hair and hugged his head as best he could in that position. Jesse nodded briefly, pressing into Hanzo and clinging to him. Hanzo couldn’t say that he minded, but he pulled Jesse back gently, his fingers running down the back of his neck. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m, I’ve just never heard Jack talk about me like that.” Jesse pressed into Hanzo’s shoulder harder. “I never even noticed and then I just left.”

Hanzo furrowed his brow, trying to parse that one out for a moment, but Jesse was already pulling back and wiping off his face. For a moment, Hanzo was useless, his hands trying to cling to Jesse in the dark as he shook his head and seemed to collect himself. Hanzo could only sit still, letting Jesse go only long enough for him to press himself back into Hanzo’s chest.

“Sorry. I’m probably not making sense,” Jesse said. Hanzo shook his head and then kissed Jesse’s hair, letting Jesse cling to him all he wanted because Hanzo wanted to cling to him back.

“You don’t need to be sorry, Jesse,” Hanzo paused, “or make sense.”

Jesse chuckled, it was low and his voice was tired, cracking somewhere in the middle before he cleared his throat. He wrapped an arm around Hanzo’s waist, pulling him in closer. “Thank you, Hanzo.”

Hanzo smiled, burying his nose in Jesse’s hair and just enjoying the quiet for a moment before he opened his mouth again. It was strange, talking more than Jesse for once, but he wanted to be able to do for Jesse what Jesse could do for Hanzo. “I don’t think Jack saw your moving as a bad thing. Ana didn’t seem to think so either.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jesse sighed, his voice was soft, but there was less hurt hanging on the words, “guess it just hit me that I was runnin’ from myself from the start.”

Hanzo hummed and ran a gentle hand through Jesse’s hair, “I think we might be similar that way.”

“I think we are.” There was a lilt in Jesse’s voice, one that Hanzo recognized, so he wasn’t exactly surprised when Jesse perked up and added, “then again, all the runnin’ landed me with you, so it probably isn’t the worst trait I’ve got.”

His face felt hot, Hanzo crept back just a bit in hopes that Jesse wouldn’t notice, but he was already being pulled down into a kiss. Jesse’s fingers found their way to the tie in Hanzo’s hair, tugging it out so he could run his fingers over Hanzo’s scalp freely. Hanzo let himself settle into Jesse, forgetting again everything that was going on around him in the dark of the tent. “I’m glad I ran into you.” Jesse was holding onto Hanzo so that their lips were still close as he spoke and Hanzo could feel his stomach flutter like it would when he was a kid, his nose bumping Jesse’s.

“I am glad I ran into you too, Jesse.” Hanzo pressed a kiss on Jesse’s lips, Hanzo shifted them so he could press into Jesse’s chest instead, inhaling the sweet smell of tobacco.

“You know,” Jesse said, “when did you start calling me by my first name?”

Hanzo flushed all over again, his face hot, but at least this time he could press into Jesse’s chest and hide despite Jesse trying to look down at him. Jesse tried to pull Hanzo away from his chest, a low chuckle rumbling against Hanzo’s forehead as he just pressed closer. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“You just called me Jesse. You can’t deny it.” Jesse gave up on pulling Hanzo back, instead hugging Hanzo tighter and playing with his hair. Hanzo just pressed into Jesse’s shoulder, listening to him chuckle for a moment, “You can call me Jesse. Only people close to me call me that anyway.”

It was hard for Hanzo to breathe for a moment, but his hands found their way around McCree’s shirt, “you call me by my first name. I thought this was more appropriate considering….”

“Considering what?” McCree had that smug tone to his voice again and Hanzo had half a mind to hit him. Instead he sat up on his elbow, glaring at him in the dark. Considering what exactly? They hadn’t talked about anything, but they’d kissed and they were holding onto each other for dear life and on this trip together in the first place. Hanzo could barely see Jesse in the dark, but he could tell the way he seemed to shrink away as he would when he’d realize his teasing might have gone just a little too far this time.

“Considering we are dating, cowboy, unless you have any other feelings about what is going on between us.” Hanzo was firm about it, because Jesse was starting to look like his nerves were going to get the better of him.

“No, no that sounds fine to me.” Jesse’s eyes were huge, scanning over Hanzo’s face briefly before Hanzo leaned down to kiss him again. He chuckled awkwardly and shifted as he looked Hanzo over one last time, “you had me scared for a minute there babe.”

“Sorry for scaring you.” Hanzo pressed into Jesse’s chest again, his forehead back against his collarbone. “I think it’s time that we get some sleep.”

“You’re right,” Jesse mumbled, “g’night babe.”

“Are you planning on calling me that from now on?” Hanzo shifted slightly, his head just under Jesse’s jaw so he could feel his jaw move as he smiled. Hanzo could imagine just the look he was getting on his face and he couldn’t help the fond smile that grew on his own face.

“Maybe,” Jesse said, “definitely if you keep calling me cowboy.”

“I am never calling you cowboy again.” Hanzo smiled more as Jesse froze, his grip tightening around Hanzo’s shoulders.

“Awe c’mon babe,” Jesse said. Hanzo chuckle and Jesse made a distressed noise, pressing his face into Hanzo’s hair. “Quit messin’ with me, it’s not fair.”

Hanzo laughed now, his arms shifting to wrap around Jesse’s middle, Hanzo’s nose in Jesse’s chest. “But it is so easy.” Jesse scoffed and kissed Hanzo’s head, his hand gentle in his hair.

“Fine. Goodnight Hanzo.”

Hanzo nuzzled against the soft shirt Jesse was wearing. “Goodnight Jesse.”


	9. Chapter 9

McCree woke up in a hot tent with a sweaty Hanzo in his arms, but he was happier than he would have imagined in this scenario. So taking Hanzo with him on this trip was a desperation move if he was honest, but it had worked out in his favor obviously.

He scooted out from under Hanzo though, because if he stayed in the heat much longer he was going to turn into a puddle. McCree unzipped the tent, earning a frustrated noise from Hanzo, but he seemed far less upset when he turned himself to face the breeze it gave them. He sat back, checking his boots briefly before he started to slide them on. They’d been in the tent, but he didn’t want to risk something being in there when he stuck his foot in them.

“Good morning,” Hanzo mumbled, turning to flatten himself on the soft pad they’d slept on, “is it, is it necessary to go back today?”

“Don’t want to talk to Genji yet?” McCree leaned back on his arms, looking over Hanzo’s back slowly. Hanzo clearly stiffened, meaning that McCree had probably hit the nail on the head. Hanzo didn’t seem like the type to suggest hiding in a tent all day like one would suggest doing in a bed.

“It is not that I don’t want to.” Hanzo dipped his head down further and sighed, “I am afraid.”

“It’s okay,” McCree said, leaning over to pet the back of Hanzo’s hair, “you don’t have to talk to him today, it ain’t like he’s going anywhere anytime soon and neither are we for the next couple a’ days.”

“It will be significantly more difficult to avoid at the ranch.” Hanzo sat up and stretched his back a bit.

“You know,” McCree paused, trying to form words in his head, “Genji seemed just as freaked out as you did. This might not be great, but you might get away with avoiding it if he’s doin’ the same.”

Hanzo chuckled gruffly and sat up on his knees. “We should talk. If we prolong this it will only get worse.”

“You might be right.” McCree was starting to get the hang of this with Hanzo, or at least he thought he was. Either way, McCree was happy he could offer some sort of advice or help to Hanzo, even if it was just a laugh. It seemed liked if they actually talked things out, Hanzo would always chose the healthiest option and that’s all McCree was trying to help him do. So he was counting this as a win.

“I am sorry for causing you so much trouble.” Hanzo turned to face McCree, doing that puppy-dog troubled face that, admittedly, got McCree all gooey and protective, but before he could say anything, Hanzo sighed and glanced out the door of the tent. “I should apologize to Jack as well.”

“I don’t mind, ‘M sure Jack doesn’t either.” McCree watched Hanzo tie up his hair and just waited. There was nothing else he could really say to him that would help, so he was quiet, and helped Hanzo clean up, but let Hanzo do the bulk because he could tell it was cathartic for him.

Once they were back on the horses, he could feel Hanzo’s anxiety getting worse as they rode slowly through the desert. McCree asked him a few questions here or there, and took the long way back, he wasn’t sure if prolonging things was better or worse. Hanzo was so worked up by the time they were in the barn he was receding again, so McCree made him sit down and drink some water while he got the saddles off the horses and put them back in their stalls.

“Hey, you made it back.” Jack came around the corner of the barn absolutely covered in dust already from being out with the cattle. Hanzo nearly jumped out of his skin just at the sound of Jack’s voice. Jack noticed it too, glancing at Hanzo very briefly, but the look was soft and worried. “Sorry. I need some help with the cattle though, uh, I know you’ve been riding all morning.”

McCree looked at Hanzo. “Jim’s probably fine, but I’d need to saddle up a different horse, Johnny looked pretty tired.”

“I’d appreciate it if you two were willing.” Jack and McCree both looked at Hanzo now, who looked relieved in some way. Hanzo seemed to use work as therapy, so if this would cut his anxiety before seeing Genji, McCree didn’t care how much his ass hurt from being in a saddle or how chaffed he got. He wanted Hanzo to take the time he needed.

“I think we could help. I have never worked with cattle,” Hanzo said. Jack shrugged and said it didn’t matter before he started to help McCree get a saddle on Pepe. Hanzo was back on Jim, and they were following Jack out to the pasture he had the cattle grazing in. It became clear fast what was wrong, something had broken the fence and now the cattle had moved out beyond it, all of them roaming and eating and quickly getting lost.

They started in on rounding them up, McCree and Jack doing the bulk of the rounding and Hanzo doing the bulk of the keeping the cattle in the fence. It wasn’t incredibly difficult for them, they were all decent riders, but Hanzo twitched anytime a cow got to close to him. McCree couldn’t help himself, laughing as he rode towards him with another cow on a rope.

“You okay there babe?” He let Pepe and Jim get close, being careful not to let Jim get within biting distance, that was the last thing they needed.

“I am fine.” Hanzo jumped when the cow McCree had groaned and stamped its feet and groaned as it tugged on the rope around its neck. “They are just, much bigger than I expected.” McCree blinked, looking down at the cow and shaking his head. He burst out laughing, leaning into his horse and letting himself fall into the full bellied laughter that had Hanzo huffing and trying to figure out what it was about.

“Sorry, just,” McCree was still struggling to talk between sniggers, “Genji said the exact same thing when he first saw them and suddenly I could see the resemblance.”

Hanzo pouted, “they are huge! Cows in Japan are not this size.” He looked down at the cow that was licking its lips and munching on something. McCree was still giggling, adjusting his hat and leaning away from Hanzo as he vaguely tried to swat for the cowboy hat.

“I believe you, I believe you.” McCree laughed and knocked Hanzo’s hand away gently before he started to pull the cow the rest of the way into the fence. “Hey wait, I got a question though.”

“If it is how I can be afraid of cows, do not ask,” Hanzo crossed his arms, adjusting as Jim shifted his hooves around. McCree shook his head, riding back out once the cow was back with the herd.

“It’s not.” McCree chuckled and paused in front of Hanzo, “how come I had to teach Genji how to ride a horse but you learned in Japan?” He was sort of hoping normalizing talking about Genji would make things easier, also, this had been eatin’ at him since he’d found out they were siblings.

McCree was immediately happy he’d asked, because Hanzo got this cute look on his face and blushed. “Ah, well, I had to do a kyudo ceremony every year in my hometown since I was to be the head of the clan. He was taught to shoot, but never on horseback. He cared more about his sword training anyway.”

“That sounds kinda neat.” McCree narrowed his eyes, “why do I get the feeling it went something like parents makin’ their kids do sports here in the states?”

“It was,” Hanzo paused, “it was more like those matching outfits parents sometimes force their children to wear in photos.”

McCree lit up, a big smile growing on his face despite Hanzo looking like he was embarrassed. “You need to show me a picture.”

“Absolutely not,” Hanzo said.

“Bet Genji could get me pictures.” McCree started off towards the loose cattle again, still grinning to himself because the noise that Hanzo made was very satisfying for him.

“That’s not,” Hanzo started. McCree couldn’t help himself, glancing back to see how flabbergasted and wide eyed Hanzo was. Hanzo’s eyes turned sharp the moment they made eye contact, “Jesse, don’t you dare.”

McCree laughed and nodded, “all right, all right.” He rode off after a calf that was trying to wander away from its mom while she lounged just outside of the fence near Hanzo. Once he had him, and his mom back in the fence, he found two more making a break for the pond that was just over the hill and finally he ran across Jack towing in a rather reluctant black calf that he was calling Bessie.

All the cattle were back inside the fence shortly after that, the three of them patching the fence temporarily before they were heading back in. Jack was in high spirits, probably because they’d gotten all the cattle, he’d counted three times to be sure, and now he was saying something about Ana and Sombra cooking a big dinner for everyone who’d come back. Hanzo seemed anxious again, but when they got to the barn, he wasn’t nearly as bad as he had been.

There was a strange calm settled in McCree’s stomach as they headed up towards the house, Hanzo next to him and Jack trailing behind. Satya and Hana were on the porch, no sign of Genji or Zenyatta, so that was some relief for now.

“McCree!” Hana jumped straight into his arms, which got a good laugh out of Hanzo as they nearly fell over. “It’s been so long! And you moved, your Super Nintendo isn’t in New York is it? I wanted to speedrun Super Mario Bros with Genji while we were here.”

Satya called Hanzo over, and McCree was immediately grateful, except Hana also got that look on her face like she was about to grill him. “The Super Nintendo is still here, don’t worry,” he said. Her smile curled and she hopped in excitement and McCree was reminded just how tiring she could be when she was worked up.

“Perf! Can’t wait.” She looked at Hanzo and Satya briefly and then spun on McCree again. She was like an Energizer bunny. “You know if he’s Genji’s older brother, then his mom is that friend of Ana’s from Hanamura, does he even know? How did you even find him?”

“I ain’t gossiping with you,” McCree said. Hana pouted and crossed her arms.

“This isn’t gossip! She would be ex-military, I can’t believe you--” Hana cut off when McCree very gently put his hands on her shoulders.

“Hana, this is something that needs to stay in their family, let him talk to Genji first.” McCree gave her a very firm look, and Hana nodded all doe-eyed and pouty.

“I know, I know, I got ahead of myself,” she said, “you know I worry about Gen.”

“I know.” McCree patted her on the head, smiling a bit, “are ya’ sure you don’t want me to speed run with you? Bet I could beat both of you.”

Hana snorted and headed back towards Satya, “I’d rather have someone who’s never played then you.”

“Hey, what’d I do to deserve that?” He followed her, laughing as Satya promptly offered him a beer.

“We are apparently not allowed in the kitchen.” Hanzo’s hands twitched as he talked, sitting on the bench next to Satya who took one look at Hanzo and handed him a one of those toys she was always carrying around. She didn’t say a word about it, and neither did Hanzo, he just started to play with it. It seemed to get some of the twitchiness out of him at least, and he relaxed more when McCree sat down on the bench next to him.

“That’s not surprising if Ana is cooking,” McCree said, “she got Sombra in there too?”

“Yeah, she yanked her in there saying something about how she was the only one besides Fareeha who’d know the recipe,” Hana said, leaning on her hand now as she plunked herself next to Satya. “She was in the middle of fixing my raspberry pi too.” All three of them must have looked deeply confused, because in the next breath Hana groaned, “it’s a gaming thing.”

Satya chuckled, shifting to cross her legs the other way, “Genji and Zenyatta will be back soon, they understand you better.” Hana huffed at the comment, straightening herself out as Hanzo got stiff next to McCree and leaned towards him more. McCree subtly got his arm around Hanzo’s back for now, just enough for Hanzo to relax into him a bit. “When will they be back?” Satya added, not looking at Hanzo or McCree at the moment, choosing to focus on Hana who was doing the same to Satya.

“They got sent to the grocery store by Ana and Sombra about an hour ago, so they should be back sooner or later,” Hana said, “I probably should have gone with them, you know how distracted they can get.”

Satya hummed, “true. If you put Genji anywhere within a mile of a Starbucks he’s going to spend at least fifteen minutes trying to find a secret menu item he saw on facebook.” Hana giggled, and strangely enough, Hanzo laughed too, so Satya kept going. “And if you put Zenyatta in a supermarket, he’ll get into at least one discussion with an employee about whether the wonton wrappers belong in the vegetarian section or the Asian section.”

Hana was now in a fit of giggles covering her mouth and full on trying to contain all of the laughter so she could talk. “They’re both so stupid I love them so much. Even if it;s like herding cats.”

McCree couldn’t help the fond way he was laughing too, he’d known both of them a long time. He was trying his hardest to focus on Hanzo, but even he was chuckling as Hana and Satya both dug in on their friends, going back and forth to call them out on the stupid things they did far too often. Satya looked proud honestly, she’d reduced Hanzo and McCree down to laughing like idiots while Hana turned on them.

“And if you put McCree near a horse he’ll spend at least thirty minutes baby talking to it,” Hana said, “an hour if you put him near a dog.” Hanzo had his hand over his mouth now, his shoulders shaking.

“Well, ya’ ain’t wrong, but let’s not talk about your tourist’s camera collection, not to mention how you stop every two feet to take a picture of something. Or yourself.” McCree grinned when Hana pouted, Satya doubling over in laughter, her hand flat on the table for support.

“Oh good, you two made it back.” Ana was at the door on the porch holding a spatula covered in some sort of batter. “Hanzo, can I borrow you?”

McCree blinked but when he turned to Hanzo, he was already getting up and following Ana before McCree could even react. So McCree forced himself to relax back into the bench, watching Ana lead Hanzo away. Satya and Hana were both bug eyed when McCree looked back at them.

“How does Ana do that with people?” Satya glanced back at the door and then between Hana and McCree. “He just listened, how did she earn his trust that fast?”

Hana chuckled and set her head back in her hand. “It’s something she’s really good at. I think it comes from age.”

“It took me three months to get him to say more than an order to me.” McCree stared at the door, still earnestly shocked. He was distracted by Satya and Hana bursting out into a fit of laughter, he figured it was his turn to get red and try to deny his social struggles.

“Three months? Even Genji managed to ask Zenyatta out faster than that!” Hana reared back, nearly falling out of her chair, but Satya managed to catch her. McCree got four times warmer than he had been two seconds prior, which only meant he was probably redder than a cherry.

“Okay, first of all.” McCree held up his finger at them and tried to think of something half decent to say, instead, all that came out was, “listen, neither of you did that great either, Sombra had to ask you out, and you were afraid to talk to Genji and Zenyatta for almost a year.”

They were both still laughing, so McCree just huffed and sat back on his bench. Satya paused, “So Sombra was right, you two weren’t together when you got here.”

“I told her I was bringing a friend.” McCree somehow felt more hot. He was smart enough not to say much else beyond that.

Hana swung herself forward, her hands hitting the table with a bang. “But you’re together now right? Come on, you two are cute together, even when he was passed out and you were carrying him upstairs you were cute together, come on I ship this so hard.”

“Yes, are you two together?” Satya leaned forward as well, so McCree crossed his arms and gave each of them a stern look. It was the best he could do, he knew if he opened his mouth now, he’d just end up embarrassing himself.

“Would you two quit it?” He made it a point not to look at either of them, staring off towards the road coming into the ranch where he could see the truck. Genji and Zenyatta being back wasn’t the best thing at the moment, but at least it might distract the two girls that were driving him up the wall. “Also, Hana, we’ve talked about that ship thing and how it’s weird with real people.

Satya was now also looking at the truck as it pulled in towards the house as Hana tried to defend herself to McCree. Hana didn’t stop until the truck was in her sights, then she was off the porch without a word and starting to yell at Genji and Zenyatta before they were even out of the truck. McCree honestly relaxed now, sighing and glancing at Satya.

“How do you think this is going to go?” Satya looked concerned, moreso when McCree just shrugged.

“It’s going to depend on the two of them and whether they even want to talk about it,” McCree said. Satya hummed and looked up at Genji, her eyes trained on him while he and Zenyatta tried to gather up groceries from the back of the truck.

“I hope they will be all right. Losing your family is hard.” She softened and then stood up slowly, going to help Zenyatta and Genji. McCree stood up to follow, glancing back at the door to the house and praying that at least dinner went normally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've officially finished writing this fic guys!! :D thank you so much to everyone who's been reading, second to last chapter is up a little early to ensure I don't forget to post is later, so enjoy and be ready for the final chapter in two weeks!


	10. Chapter 10

Hanzo had been purposefully sat next to Sombra and across from Jesse and he could tell it was to put him on the opposite side of the table as Genji, facing the same way so they couldn't really look at each other. It was so quick and orchestrated that he almost felt they'd planned it, but with this group of people, it seemed most likely that they were just all on the same page. Satya was next to Jesse, sitting up oddly straight and looking almost as nervous as Hanzo.

He’d gotten the feeling Satya was just as worried about him as Jesse was, and Hanzo, although he felt bad for worrying her, was honestly flattered that he'd made a good impression on her. Maybe it was just that it made him feel calmer that no one besides he, Jesse, and Genji knew the history between Hanzo and his brother. It was appreciated either way.

It was as dinner was ending that the whole room seemed to change demeanor, Jack and Ana leading the charge on cleaning, while everyone else seemed to get tense about an impending conversation between Hanzo and Genjo, or maybe a fight. Hanzo wasn't particularly sure of anything, and worse he couldn't see his brother’s face at all, so when Jesse said he was going out to smoke, Hanzo followed, wishing he had sake even though he knew a cigarette would take the edge off just as a drink would.

“You okay?” Jesse asked the moment they were out of earshot of everyone else, he pack of cigarettes already in one hand.

“Can I have one of those?” Hanzo said, swiping one from the box before Jesse could say anything. They weren't his usual hand rolled ones, and Hanzo was thankful since these had filters. Jesse’s eyes narrowed, holding out his lighter for Hanzo. The first drag made him cough, but the second had his anxiety melting already.

“You’re not okay are you?” Jesse had a cigarette in his mouth now, lighting it and taking the drag easily like always. Hanzo was still coughing, just not as much as he had been at first, so he just shook his head. “I’m here for ya’ okay?”

Hanzo took another drag on the cigarette and let Jesse pull him into a half hug, “I know, thank you.” His hands were shaking, he wasn’t sure if that was the cigarette or the anxiety, but he took another long drag anyway. It was probably the anxiety making him shake if he was being honest with himself.

“When was the last time you’ve even had a cigarette?” Jesse asked. Normal conversation sounded nice, so Hanzo just thought about it for a while.

“I think when I was still in Japan,” Hanzo said, “right before I got on the plane, so seven years ago.” Jesse looked blank for a moment and then he slowly looked out at the horse barn completely lost in whatever thought he was having.

“You’re twenty seven?” Jesse looked distant for a moment. Hanzo’s face dropped, his lips pulling in as he took another drag on the cigarette. “I never even bothered to ask, I’m sorry.

Hanzo softened, looking up at Jesse and actually laughed, “I’m not offended if you’re worried about that. It is not like I asked you either.”

“True.” A smug smile grew on Jesse’s face, “I’m mostly in shock that you’re older than me,” there was a very planned pause, “considerin’ I’m about six inches taller than you.”

Hanzo threw his hands up, “it’s not my fault you Americans are all giants. I was tall in Japan.” He was, in fact, not tall in Japan.

“You weren’t tall in Japan either.” Genji was five feet behind them, but close enough to make Hanzo jump like he was seeing a ghost again. The hurt in Genji’s eyes made Hanzo guilty, dropping his shoulders and taking a step forward so he could pretend like nothing had happened. “Can I talk to you? I understand if you don’t to talk to me, but- I mean, mom thinks you’re dead.”

The Japanese registered faster than English ever did, and the shock must have shown on his face because Jesse was now looking back and forth between them. “What do you mean? You saw me alive.”

“Two of our uncles were dead when I woke up. I don’t remember much past them grabbing me.” Genji looked nervously at Jesse and then back at Hanzo, “really Hanzo. We had no idea you were alive, we have a shrine for you. I’m really sorry. We should have looked harder for you.”

Genji bowed, deeply, to the point where for half a moment Hanzo thought he might get down on his hands and knees in the dust. He stared, Jesse stared at him, and then Hanzo broke, shaking his head, “why are you apologizing to me? I took a shot at you Genji, I fell into their trap. I shot them in the throat to get away.”

Hanzo had never seen Genji move so quickly, shooting up straight, “with your bow? But there were no arrows in them by the time the paramedics showed up. You were the one who shot them? What happened?” He looked disturbed and deeply confused, much like he had the night everything had happened in the first place. Hanzo crushed the cigarette between his fingers by mistake.

“You were just as in the dark about this as I was?” Hanzo frowned, Genji was now stepping towards them, speaking quickly about how Hanzo needed to explain. “They told me I was to do something our father was supposed to do. Ceremonial, they didn’t explain further, but when I arrived they had you tied up and told me I had to kill you. They said you’d dishonored the family.”

“They tried to have you kill me?” Genji looked away from Hanzo slowly, the gears clicking in his head, Hanzo could see it in whole body that he was realizing, “All three of them?”

“Um, not to be a bother, but would it kill either of ya’ to clue a guy in?” Jesse leaned forward to look at Hanzo more closely, and Hanzo shook his head.

“Genji didn’t know I was there when my uncles tried to kill him.” Hanzo said it without thinking, but the look on Genji’s face was so terrible he wished he hadn’t said it at all. Genji straightened up, locking his jaw and then sighing. He was pushing past whatever was bothering him.

“The one that survived, he said the other two betrayed us and that they’d killed you before they even brought me in. He told me that he saved my life when one tried to shoot me.” Genji said and folded his arms in. Now he looked like the boy who’d grown up chasing Hanzo around and Hanzo wanted to reach out to him, but he was far too nervous.

“What happened after that?” Hanzo felt Jesse get closer to him. The anxiety rolling off of Jesse was strange, like Jesse was being pulled between Hanzo and Genji. Jesse and Genji had been on this ranch together for years, they were probably closer to each other than Hanzo was to Genji now. Jesse was as much Genji’s brother as Hanzo was, and knowing what Hanzo knew of Jesse, he just wanted to help them both feel better.

“I was in the hospital, mom told me you were gone and then she sent me here to be with Ana.” Genji shook his head, “I’ve hardly heard from her since, but she told me I should stay out of it.”

“She was probably worried you would get hurt. She didn’t trust what he’d said, did she?” Hanzo waited for Genji to shake his head, and then glanced at Jesse. “I think we are all right if this is making you anxious.”

Jesse let out a breath and set his hand on his chest as Genji nodded, agreeing with Hanzo. “The Japanese was freakin’ me out. I couldn’t tell if you were fighting just on your body language.”

Genji actually laughed and then let his arms drop to his sides. “We’d be much louder if we were fighting,” Genji said, “Shimada way.”

Hanzo sighed, because Genji was wrong, but he felt like he’d been called out. Jesse laughed though, and it seemed to calm him down, glancing out at Sombra and Satya.

“I’ll be with the girls,” Jesse said, finishing his cigarette and snuffing it out on the ground. He took the butt with him though, and paused to take the last of the crumpled cigarette Hanzo was holding before heading towards the house, “I’m sure you two can talk faster in Japanese.”

“Thank you McCree,” Genji said in a way that was almost sing-songy. Hanzo nodded.

“Yes, thank you,” Hanzo said. He bristled a bit at the smile he got from McCree, just hoping that Genji wouldn’t say anything about it.

“How did you even meet McCree? I never would have expected the two of you to get along.” Genji gave Hanzo a pointed looked and then tacked on, “especially not well enough to be dating.”

Hanzo’s face felt hot again, but it was hot outside and hopefully not noticeable, “We met at the bar he’s been working at in New York.”

“The one that’s cowboy themed?” Genji looked tickled, his eyes lighting up, “you’ve changed quite a bit big brother.”

Genji held onto oni-chan in a way that made Hanzo frown like when they had been teenagers. It felt sort of, nice, he was surprised how much, Genji was treating him like Hanzo was still his brother. “It’s close to my apartment.”

“That’s cute.” Genji sounded somber to Hanzo, his voice getting soft. “I’m glad that you have people to lean on Hanzo. I never, I never quite believed that you had lost your life to our uncles.”

“I did in a way.” Hanzo could feel his stomach churning, this is the part of the conversation he had never wanted to have. Losing so much so fast, it was something he didn’t like to think about. “But I guess, it eventually worked out in my favor.” He looked at Jesse, sitting with Sombra and Satya who seemed more at ease than they had even a few minutes ago.

“Um, I should tell you,” Genji shuffled in an awkward way and Hanzo just gave him a look he knew would get him to keep talking, “Zenyatta and Hana and I, we are together. It’s not exactly, traditional.”

Hanzo let that sink in for about half a second, but at that moment, all he cared about was having Genji back in his life in some way. And maybe his mother. “It’s okay Genji. I’m not really able to judge. I’m dating a cowboy after all.”

Genji was slack jawed for a moment, and then he was laughing, hard, doubled over and then he flung himself up, tears rolling down his face. “I’m so glad you’re alive Hanzo.” He smiled, wide and sweet for a moment as he wiped his face, looking like the kid Hanzo remembered so fondly, “we’re moving to New York in a few weeks, that’s why we were here, to tell McCree.”

Hanzo turned to Genji quick, “really?”

Genji nodded, “Zen got asked to run a temple there. So the three of us decided to move, Hana can do more video game streaming stuff from there as well, it made a lot of sense.”

“What are you planning on doing?” Hanzo looked up and they were being called over now, and since they were just chatting, he figured it would be fine to head towards the house at least slowly, and Genji followed.

“I don’t know. I was teaching martial arts at a dojo in Santa Fe, I might be able to find something similar.” Genji paused, “What have you been doing? I saw you still had your bow.”

“Graphic design actually.” Hanzo smiled as Genji laughed. “I know, it was an odd career change.”

“No, it sort of, makes sense you always liked calligraphy when they were forcing us to learn it.” Genji was still laughing quietly. “I am excited for you to tell mom that. If you’re okay seeing her again.”

“I, well, even though I know I only grazed you, I thought that I might have killed you Genji. It seems silly now, but I couldn’t imagine trying to explain that to mom.” Hanzo rubbed his hand, thinking about the blood again and feeling a dizzy. Not as dizzy as normal.

“Hanzo we never blamed you, we never even knew you were in that room. If anything you saved my life.” Genji’s voice was low, but his hand did something odd. He touched the scar on his temple and then realized what he was doing, dropping his arm like a rock. “I always thought it looked like it was from an arrow and not a bullet.”

“I can assure you that it’s from an arrow,” Hanzo let out a strange laugh and looked down nervously. “I am still working off the shock that what I did might have actually saved your life in the long run. I always felt like such a coward for running away.”

“You are not Hanzo, I don’t know what I would have done if I had been in your place. I’m here if you need me, but you did save my life. Mom will be happy that you’re alive Hanzo. She will be really happy.” Genji looked troubled, “I’ve been trying to get her to come to the states for a few years. I’m worried about her being all alone. Maybe this will be enough to convince her.”

Hanzo’s chest hurt a moment. He was holding back the feeling of crying, his throat pulled closed, he was doing his best to hide it. Jesse gave him a look, and Hanzo knew he could read whatever was happening on Hanzo’s face. “I’ll help convince her if you need help. If we are both going to be in New York anyway.”

Genji smiled, he grinned actually, “I think that will help.”

They were met with a lot of questions, but Jesse pulled Hanzo close when he sat down on the bench with him again, and Genji answered most. A lot had happened, a lot he didn’t understand, but he cared quite a bit less about it now. Jesse was just holding onto him, and that seemed like it wasn’t going to change.

Hana was speaking rapidly at Genji in Korean. He didn’t seem to know what she was saying, but she was doing it anyway. Jesse laughed quietly, just enough for Hanzo to hear as he worked his hands along the soft hair on the back of Hanzo’s head. “Genji doesn’ look like he knows what she’s saying.”

“I don’t think Genji speaks Korean,” Hanzo said, “she’s saying something about a bon fire.”

“You speak Korean?” Jesse smirked, but Hanzo shook his head.

“I can only understand a little, I had to take a foreign language in college and I was already proficient in English,” Hanzo said. Hana caught it though, spinning on Hanzo and slamming her hands on the table in front of him.

“You can understand what I’m saying, what is the English word for bonfire?” Hana’s eyes were very intense, enough to make Hanzo honestly afraid for his life. Genji looked more than mildly confused still.

“Bonfire.” Hanzo pulled back a bit, maybe trying to hide behind Jesse whose eyes looked like dinner plates currently. Hana bounced back up, a huge smile on her face as Zenyatta wandered out of the house with Ana in tow.

“What was that noise?” Ana settled her hand on her hip looking very much like a mother.

“We should have a bonfire!” Hana now ran to Zenyatta instead, who caught her with a wide grin on his face while she spoke quickly in Korean at him instead. Zenyatta seemed to understand her, and started to respond in Korean.

The sun was setting in the distance, and now Satya stood up, “McCree can you help me get logs? I don’t want Jack to have to….” Sombra was watching her, an eyebrow up and Jesse promptly let Hanzo go to get up as well.

“Yeah no problem,” Jesse paused and smiled at Hanzo, “be right back.”

Hanzo and Sombra watched them go as Ana spent some time examining and fawning over Hana, Genji and Zenyatta, treating them all like her children, which was nice. It made the ranch feel more like a home. He needed to make sure Jesse didn’t keep avoiding being here, even if it meant not getting him back until it was time to celebrate for Gabe again.

“Hanzo.” Ana smiled and waved him over to her, so Hanzo got up to follow her into the house. “I assume someone told you by now, that your mother and I were in the same unit when we were in the military.”

“Yes.” Hanzo said, following her into the living room of the main house, Ana sweeping over the bookcase full of photo frames. Hanzo caught a few of Jesse as a teeanger, and at least a couple of Sombra here or there, some of them together, and that photo of the two of them with Gabe at Jesse’s birthday. But Ana stopped at one, picking it up and handing it to Hanzo.

“I suppose you wouldn’t remember this, but it’s funny, when you’d first gotten here I’d thought you looked a lot like Motoko,” Ana said. The photo in the frame was definitely Ana and his mother, much younger, holding him and Genji. “I spent some time in Hanamura helping your mother after Genji was born. You were only about three.”

Hanzo stared, earnestly shocked and looked over the wall of photo frames as Ana reached for another, handing him the picture that Hanzo had in his wallet of him and Genji. This one hadn’t been torn, so his mother was still in it, holding onto their shoulders. “I can’t believe….”

“Small world as Jesse would say.” Ana laughed and then smiled as Hanzo pulled out his wallet, the battered photo in the billfold. “Oh, well that would have answered a lot of questions much faster.”

“Yes, I guess it would have.” Hanzo said, looking over the pristine version of his photo with. The half with his mother was on his nightstand back in New York.

“Do you want to keep that?” Ana’s voice was softer, “I’m sure you’ve missed your family.” Hanzo shook his head, setting the photo back and handing the photo of the four of them to Ana so she could replace it.

“I have this photo, this one is important to me.” He slipped the photo back into his wallet and Ana smiled. “Besides, I have my family again now.”

“And a few extras,” Ana added with a chuckle, “your mother was always very proud of you. She will be happy to hear that she hasn’t lost you forever.” She paused, picking up a frame and tugging out a picture of Jesse when he must have first come to the ranch, he looked disgruntled, and Gabe had an arm around his shoulders, looking like he had to hold Jesse in that position. Jack was on his other side, smiling with his arms crossed. They looked a lot like a family in it. “Do me a favor? Take this back with you, and make Jesse take it. I know he moved without any pictures on purpose, but he should at least have one.”

Hanzo took the photo, it was small enough to tuck inside of his wallet underneath his ID. Ana was on her way back outside, the sun a sliver on the horizon in the window of the living room. Hanzo smiled, pausing to pick up the photo of Genji, his mother, Ana, and him. He really needed to finish that painting.

When he followed Ana back out, everyone had moved a short jog off the porch, Hana arranging rocks on the desert floor as Hanzo and Jesse had the night before. Genji helped her dig it out slightly, the hard dirt and dust kicking up as Sombra and Zenyatta set up camp chairs in a circle around the pit. Hanzo couldn’t help the way he smiled, Satya and Jesse walking around the side of the house now with logs. Jesse had his resting on his forearms, but the few that Satya had she was holding straight out in front of her, wearing gloves. She looked distinctly uncomfortable with the look of the logs, she seemed to be handling herself well enough to get them all the way to the fire pit where Sombra quickly took them from her, saying she was proud which made Satya beam.

Jack came up from behind him, not quietly, like he had at the barn, he was stomping to make his presence obvious to Hanzo. “Doing okay?”

“Yes, thank you,” Hanzo said. This was the first time he’d seen Jack not absolutely covered in dirt as if he’d just come in from working. Now Hanzo could see that his hair was entirely gray with spots that were starting to go white, and one of his eyes looked to be completely useless, but he still had it. It was under one of the scars that ran across his entire face, so Hanzo wasn’t really surprised. Jack smiled though, in a way that made his eyes wrinkle at the edges and he set a hand on Hanzo’s shoulder briefly.

“Good.” It was all he said, letting Hanzo go and heading over to Ana who promptly handed him a beer from the cooler. Hana came and grabbed Hanzo next, pulling him over and asking him about s’mores and if he’d had one, of course she was doing this rather rapidly in Korean again. He guessed she must have liked getting to speak to the few people who understood Korean, Hanzo had been like that once too.

Hanzo let himself be pulled along, once they got to the fire and had it started, the first thing they did was force him to eat a s’more, which must have been entertaining because they were all laughing as he got chocolate all over his hands and marshmallow in this beard. It didn’t really matter though, he was sitting next to Jesse who took pity and gave him a wet wipe which Ana had brought out with her.

The sun was gone, Hanzo was sitting next to Zenyatta discussing growing up in Nepal, while Hana busied herself until she was tired enough to collapse into Genji’s lap. Everyone was used to each other, Satya talking with Jack quietly about getting more help on the ranch during the times when they didn’t have kids there and Sombra cringing when Jack and Satya called her Olivia quietly.

Jesse reached over to pet the back of his hair gently as he listened intently to something Ana was telling him all about. It didn’t take long for Hanzo to gather it was her daughter again and her relationship with someone named Angela. He smiled though, turning into Jesse’s hand at one point and getting a flash of a smile back.

It wasn’t long that everyone shuffled around again, Hana getting up and saying she was going to bed. Both Zenyatta and Genji offered to go with her, but she told them to stay, and Genji took the seat next to Hanzo when Zenyatta got up to help put away some of the food. It was quiet, the fire crackling as Jack and Ana followed Zenyatta into the house leaving Satya and Sombra in their own little world.

“I can’t believe you cut your hair.” Genji’s eyes were narrowed at Hanzo now, so Hanzo narrowed his eyes at him back.

“Your hair used to be green.” Hanzo smiled when Genji seemed to blush.

“Oh man I remember when your hair was green,” Jesse said, “It was fading when he got here, and his roots were all black from it growin’ out and he was always wearing orange. Gabe called him ‘the carrot’ for a month.”

“Orange was an important color to our family! I was sad and homesick!” Genji crossed his arms as McCree and Hanzo laughed. There was still a pang of guilt in his chest, that he had caused all of this somehow. Genji’s being at the ranch and his homesickness and hardships. But that wasn’t really true, for once he knew for sure it was true and that made accepting it easier.

“At the very least we’ll probably never have to wear those orange do-gi ever again,” Hanzo added and Genji perked up.

“I hated those things! They were a million years old, over starched, and itchy.” Genji shivered and sank into his seat more, “and do you remember the terrible formal robes we’d be put in anytime our father had clients over.” Genji was doing air-quotes around clients, because they were all just criminals. None of their businesses were clean.

“I never liked the way he’d lock up the dogs when they came over, they’d always cry all night and he wouldn’t let us take them out to sleep in our rooms like they normally would.” Hanzo sighed and looked at the fire, Genji nodding, he didn’t really like thinking about his father or the family business. “Or the fact that we were both expected to get tattoos when we were of age.”

Genji’s hand went to his back, he’d gotten his tattoo only a few months before everything had happened. His had been worse too, he bled more than Hanzo did, and the piece their father had chosen for him was larger. Hanzo had spent weeks helping him blot away the leaking fluids and rubbing it down in lotion to help it heal.

“Yeah, but y’all have matching dragons now,” Jesse said, he must have sensed the unease in Hanzo and Genji. He was flattening in his chair though, leaning back with his hands hanging like he might pass out right there, “y’all should open a dojo or somethin’, you’ve already got the name, although you’re not twins I guess. I didn’ think this whole thing through before I started chatterin’, sorry.”

Both Hanzo and Genji laughed, which had Jesse chuckling at himself, the three of them still staring at the fire. “We’ll figure it out,” Hanzo said and Genji agreed quickly before he had to hop up when Zenyatta called him.

Jesse turned to look at Hanzo a bit, a smile crawling over his face when Sombra and Satya also made their exit, holding hands and speaking to each other softly. Now they were sitting in front of the fire alone, Jesse leaning over just enough to hook his forefinger with Hanzo’s. His hat sank back on his head as he did it, giving Hanzo’s finger a squeeze.

“What?” Hanzo couldn’t help the way that he smiled at Jesse, he had a soft spot for the cowboy, there was no doubt, but it got worse when he smiled.

“I’m glad ya’ came out here with me.” Jesse’s smile turned into a grin, his teeth looking surprisingly white in the orange light of the fire. The desert had gotten black, the sky a heavy blue with a moon hanging low.

“I’m glad too.” Hanzo shifted his chair, getting close enough to Jesse to lean on his shoulder. His hand moved just enough to thread their fingers together, turning his nose into McCree’s shoulder to smell the tobacco on his flannel. “I can see why you didn’t want to be here alone.” McCree chuckled softly, setting his head against Hanzo’s as they watched the fire burn. Hanzo had never felt so comfortable in his life, leaning on the cowboy and enjoying the chill of the desert night by the warmth of a bonfire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this fic! It took a really long chunk of my year to write, and I’m really proud of it. It’s definitely been a stepping stone in my writing and it’s going to have a very special place in my heart for a long time. Thank you to everyone who dedicated themselves to reading this every two weeks, you seriously kept me going even when I was struggling. I love you all <3 ;~;

**Author's Note:**

> So like I'm real stoked about this AU, it will hopefully be coming out bi-weekly from here on out! Enjoy guys!!!


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